Thank you for visiting. My thoughts and expressions are put here in words for you to digest. I hope you find "My Expressions Live" a break from your normal daily life. Many of my thoughts and expressions are random daily thoughts the intermingle with my daily life. I am fortunate to be exposed to many different walks of life. I enjoy looking deep into my life and those that I share it with. Then taking those thoughts and sharing them with you. Thanks for visiting!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
~13 Positions to spice up the bedroom~
1. You on top~ We enjoy watching you, plus it rubs us on the top right on the ridge between the shaft and head. For variation you can always lean back, it is all good ! The big advantage is that you control the orgasam.
2. Passionate Piston~ You on top again, however this time do not rest on your knees. Stay in squating position, acting like a piston you can go up and down, deep or shallow, your preference. Again we get to watch, we love watching. The downfall is that your legs will get tired, however, makes for a great quadracep workout.
3. Car Rider~ With both of you sitting, climb on his lap, wrap your legs around his waist. Slow rocking motion will help you orgasam. This is great for hitting your gspot, kinda reminds you of being in a back seat!
4. The edge~Have him lie on his back, his butt on the edge of the bed. Lower yourself onto his penis in reverse, your legs outside his. After you start bouncing, slowly bend toward the floor. It should be tight and electrifying.
5. Doggy~ This is always a favorite, it is especially nice when you lean down onto a shoulder, reach back and play with yourself and his balls. It gives a added sensation to the mauneaver.
7. Belly Time~ Or otherwise known as down dog.Lie on your belly, placing a pillow under your hips, keep your legs together. Have him straddle you and slide inside. You may need to arch your back a little bit to hit your favorite spot. Trust me he should enjoy it.
8. Pretzel~ Ok some women have troubles with this, however, men love when you let it slide inside while you put your legs behind your head. This usually ends up with some very aggressive action.
9. Anal~ Ok I can see a lot of you shaking your head, but wait! Try different lubes, some work better than others, KY is a bad lube, way to sticky, too much friction. Find one that works for you. Have him go slow, men want to dive right in, slow and steady. Once you have accepted him let him start to move. Being dirty is everymans dream. If it doesn't arouse you then touch yourself. That sight will send him over the edge.
10. 69~ I know nothing better than recieving oral on both ends. It has to be part of our list.
11. Slow climb~ Put a pillow behind under your back, place your legs over his shoulders, let him climb on top of you. This makes it so your gspot is exposed, he should be hitting it everytime. You will find that he should feel like he is climbing as he gets closer to his climax and yours. Digging his feet in for more leverage.
12. Table top~ Lie on the kitchen table, place one leg up over his shoulder. You can even have both feet on the table, lift your butt occasionally to add to the sensation. This will just add fun and spice to your relationship, even something to think about the next time guests are eating at your table.
13. The Spoon~ Just as it sounds, very intimate to lie there in bed and spoon your partner. While lying there get naked and allow him to enter you. Something very close and personal about the spoon. One of my favorites.
A few things to remember, enjoy yourself, worry about your climax not his. We will climax, we enjoy watching our partner as much as we enjoy the act. A big reason why we enjoy the woman on top, we can see you, touch you, kiss you and we like to enjoy the beautiful site that is before our eyes. Enjoy yourself and let me know which one is your favorite!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
~ Crash Leaves One Dead ~
It was your typical fall evening, the begining of jacket weather. It was almost eleven and the majority of the firefighter's had gone to bed, trying to get ahead of their soon to be interupted sleep. Little did I know that I would be the last person to hear the voice of one young man.
Upon arrival of the auto accident, I noticed six cars in the roadway. A mutiple amount of teens mingeling around. One car was on its side in the ditch, another dissinigrated in the middle of the roadway. Trying to decifer how many people were involved I began with the mangled vehicle in the middle of the roadway. The driver was pinned between the steering wheel and seat back, face bloodied, air bag stained with fresh blood. He was crying for help, mumbling, the most visibly injured. Walking around the vehicle the two individuals in the back seat were stunned, shocked, claimed to have minor injuries. Finding out later that their pranks of shooting roman candles from the back seat, would kill their friend. Quickly I made my way around the rear of the car. Coming around the bumper and to the rear door, the front door opened, out climbed the front passenger. Looking at me in the eyes, he began describing how his chest was burning. Pulling at his neck, describing his pain, looking for another paramedic, I briefly turned. The young man collapsed, dying in front of me, asking for my help, I could do nothing to save this young man.
I can still see the expression on his face, the sound of his voice, it haunts me. His friends watching him die, lying on the roadway. Others still needing our help, the driver still making noise. I felt alone, eventhough I was surrounded by colleagues. I was the last person to hear his voice. Not his mother or father, they were probably at home sleeping hoping that their son would arrive home shortly. I often find myself wondering about the parents or family of those who just died.Quickly we loaded him into the ambulance, working hard as hell, knowing that our efforts would not change the outcome.
Knowing that soon the family will have their hearts ripped from their very soul. I try to tell others that these things don't bother me. But it does, it bothers all of us that serve and protect. We are lying if we say it doesn't. Today this accident that happened several years ago is in the forefront of my mind, I have no idea why, it just happens.
We ended up transporting a total of 7 people that evening, taking a miserable amount of time to accomplish this feat. During this event of trying to sort everything out, one young girl approached me, asking me if he was going to be ok. I looked at her and I stopped for a moment. She was the daughter of one our firefighter's. I told her she needed to go home. I climbed into my fire engine and called her home, telling her father of what she had just witnessed.
Later the father of the girl approached me at work, thanking me for the call. He continued to explain that three cars were headed to a party that evening. Car number one with the boys were shooting roman candles out of the car, trying to get the cars that followed, when they misfired. The roman candle launched inside of the car, striking the driver in the chest, burning him as well as causing the accident. His daughter was in car number 2. All of our worst nightmares, dealing with those that we know.
Monday, December 15, 2008
~Male Orgasam~
She asked him to come to the bedroom. Annoyed, he finished what he was doing. Hand on the banister, he climbed the winding staircase wondering what she needed this this time. Reaching the top of the stairs, she stood in the bedroom scantily dressed. Wearing her reading glasses, thigh high stockings and one of his dress shirts. One button holding it together, her nipples poked through.
"Get undressed and lie on the bed" she told him. It always thrilled him when she took charge. Occasionally he enjoyed being submissive to her, reversing their normal sexual escapades. He slowly undressed himself, looking at her made the blood begin to gather in his cock. It was beginning to feel warm, thickening while he undressed. As he removed his shirt she walked over and grabbed his stiff member and guided him to the bed.
Pushing him on his back, he fell onto the bed. Smiling in pleasure, he willing followed her aggressive orders. She straddled him. Grabbing his wrists, she forced his arms above his head. Using the restraints that he normally used on her, she secured his hands together, making him incapable of stopping her. She sat back looking at him, giving him a devious smile that slightly frightened him. The fear of the unknown scared him greatly, however, he trusted her to do anything to him.
Taking her fingernails, she slowly scratched down his chest, using enough pressure to leave slight red marks, making sure he understood her dominance. Stopping at his pelvis, she leaned forward, kissing his chest. Working her way to his nipple, sucking and licking, then biting just hard enough, causing him to arch his back trying to escape. Again her devious smile and laughter caused him concern. Slowly working down his body, her hands reached his cock.
Manuevering herself between his legs, she positioned him the way she liked. Her right hand stroking his extremely thick cock. She knew that he was extremely excited by his thickness. Her left hand slowly tickled his balls, he always enjoyed the combination of sensations. She enjoyed feeling his shaved sack, and today it was soft, so she placed her mouth on his testicle, running her tongue in circles. As she continued to stroke his cock, she felt a small dribble of precum. Knowing that she was being affective, she slowly moved her mouth up the shaft, licking the drop from the tip.
His cock felt cold when she did this, kind of like after climbing out of a swimming pool. Wanting her to take him into her mouth, he begged. She lifted her head, and denied his request. Instead she took out a blindfold and covered his eyes. Not being able to see what she was doing, he began to wonder what she had in store. He then heard a small pop, as if she opened a lid. Suddenly her warm mouth slid over the head of his cock. The warmth felt exquisite, different from her vagina, more direct stimulation. He enjoyed how the combination of her hand on his shaft and the warmth of her mouth would soon milk the cum from his body.
Distracted by her mouth, he was surprised to feel her cold wet finger touching his anus. Like most men, he resisted until finally her slippery finger found its way inside. It felt weird at first. He felt as if he shouldn't like this, but it felt extremely good. Relaxing he began to enjoy her playing inside him. She felt his cock get even harder - harder than she had ever remembered before. Suddenly there was a small release of precum again. She knew then that she had found a new pleasure that they both enjoyed.
Reaching deep inside, she moved her finger around hoping to find his prostrate gland. Researching the male g-spot, she read that it was supposed to feel walnut shaped. Suddenly she realized that she had found it. His back arched and he became very vocal, telling her it was unbelievably unbearable. She began to massage his prostrate; he began to squirm in pleasure.
The intense pleasure was unbearable, it was like nothing that he had experienced before. Normally he felt a slight pleasure leading up to his orgasm, this time, however the pleasure was extreme. It felt as if he was cumming, although he knew that he had not cum yet. She continued this combination of sucking and playing with his prostrate. He asked her to not only massage it, he also wanted her to start moving it in and out. The combination of the two were new to both of them, surprisingly enjoyable to both.
Suddenly he felt as if he were going to cum. It became even stronger, then like the floodgates opened. He screamed in joy. His body convulsed in pleasure. Never had it done this before.
She continued sucking, taking in all of his release, amazed by the quantity. In the past fifteen years of their marriage, she had never swallowed so much of him. It continued to flow, so she continued to milk his prostrate, and he continued to release.
His body continued to quiver, asking her to stop, it was as if he were still cumming. He even thought their may be a chance that it could cause him to cum again, something that he had only done once before. Slowly, she removed her finger. He lay there breathing deeply, as if he just run a marathon.
"Are you OK?" she asked.
He explained the edge he had just experienced. One of the most unbelievable orgasms that he had ever had. He told her how that was not right, how could that have felt so amazing. Knowing that he would encourage her to do that to him again.
She explained that she had read about the male g-spot. Thinking that he might enjoy it, she thought she would try. In disbelief he lie there, thinking about what had just happened.
"Did you enjoy it?" she asked.
"Absolutely. We will have to do that again" he said.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Our time !
Sitting on the couch, fire crackling, the smell of wood burning. In the fireplace flames dance, mesmerizing us,snuggling close. Covered in a blanket, generously sharing to keep me warm. I pull you close, my arm around you, you huddle closer, placing your head on my chest. I touch your soft skin on your arm, feeling your hand on my inner thigh. I tingle from your touch, your hand so warm and soft. I smell your hair, the perfume that has permeated you, triggering even more excitement. I feel your body lying on mine, the closeness so delicate.
Enjoying each others company, watching television. This is our time to share, love, touch, enjoy each others company. I cherish sitting with you, appreciating the closeness that we share. Comforting, loving, mesmerized by my wife.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Mouth Watering !!!
You lie on the alter, giving yourself completely to me. The soft flannel sheets teases my skin. I crawl slowly across the sheets to your naked body. Your nipples hard and erect, my mouth wants to warm them, placing one in my mouth. I run my tongue in circles over it, sucking, biting, giving you the most sensual kiss that I can give. Your moans, feeling your hands on my head and shoulder, begging me for more.
I want to feel your back arch, pull me higher, kissing me passionately. Kissing your neck, tasting your skin. Savoring your taste, I want to taste your sweet nectar. My hand reaches down, feeling you dripping with excitement, I am anxious for what awaits me. I enjoy every ounce of your being, I want to kiss your shoulder, working my way to your nectar.
I love the way you taste, the way your body moves. I like how your body reacts when I place my fingers in those erogenous zones. My fingers dance, touching and playing while my mouth embarks on the delicacy that you provide. Forsaken I take that from you, feeding my desire to have you completely, dependent on the covenant of your nectar.
Placed on the alter, your body was given up for me!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Bath Time!
Taking baths relax her so much, so he prepared a hot steamy bath for her. Candles were lit and placed all over the bathroom. The sweet aroma permeated the air, she could feel the steam cling to her skin as she walked into the bathroom. Already undressed he closed the door behind her, helping her undress in the candlelight. As he removed her clothes, he adored her body in the soft light.
Leading her over to the bathtub, he held her hand as she tested the waters. The water stung as she first entered into it, slowly lowering herself until she was submerged. Once she was in the water he sat next to her, just outside the tub, kneeling on a small stack of towels. He looked at her sparkling eyes with a devious, crinkly kind of smile.
Picking up a body scrub he dipped it into the water, then swirling body wash onto it. Lifting her right leg he began to scrub her feet, up her calf, then to her inner thigh. Thoroughly scrubbing and paying attention to every curve. When he was finished he moved to her left leg and repeated the performance. She began to feel relaxed and tingly, the touch of his hands and the roughness of the body scrub were a magical combination. The skin was cold as he would raise her leg out of the water, then warm and refreshed after being cleansed.
He then went to her hands, scrubbing them, soothing them, enjoying the feel of her skin. Slowly moving down her arm, shoulder, and slowly moving to her chest. Taking time to appreciate her breasts, spending ample amount of time, touching and teasing them, again appreciating the touch of his hand versus the roughness of the body scrub. Completing her breasts he then moved to the opposite shoulder and arm, finishing with her hand. Completely relaxed he helps pull her forward, lathering the body scrub he begins with the nape of her neck, then to back of the shoulders. He slowly moves down the rest of her back, she is now moaning in pleasure.
As she lies back in the tub, he now takes a cup of water and rinses her hair, running his hands across her scalp. The pressure of his fingers massaging her scalp, soothing, relaxing, erogeonous. Applying soap and conditioner her hair feels like silk, soft strings of silk running through his fingers. Tilting her head back into the water she rinses her hair, her beauty radiates like the moonlight on the ocean.
As she lies there relaxed, he now takes the shaving cream and places lather in his hand. Raising her pelvis, he lathers her between her legs. Taking the razor he shaves her almost completely, leaving a little down the middle. Her lips now smooth to the touch, trusting him with the most delicate task, his strong hands so soft and delicate. Aroused and excited he helps her finish, admiring her beautiful body, shimmering in the candlelight.
He leans over and opens the drain, they hear the water now draining. Helping her stand, he begins to dry her with the towel. Slowly drying her soft and delicate skin, occasionally stopping to kiss her delicious skin. Taking her by the hand he opens the door, leads her in to the bedroom, and removes the towel. Enjoying the evening’s dessert, that he has helped prepare!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Coffee anyone?
In town on business, Kate was unfamiliar with the city, she was dying to find a coffee shop. Leaving the hotel she began looking for a Starbucks. It was cool out this particular morning, in fact the bank's marquee read 38 degrees Fahrenheit. She could see her breathe as she walked, cold and refreshing to her lungs. Dressed in her business attire, black wool coat keeping her warm.
As she turned the corner two blocks to the north, there it was, Starbucks. Her bright white smile gleamed as she walked through the door. As she entered the little brass bell attached to the top of the door jingled. Causing the man in the corner to look up and see her walking through the door.
She stood about five foot and nine inches tall, shoulder length strawberry hair. He noticed her green eyes glistening in the morning sun. He sipped his coffee, and smiled when she looked over at him. He continued to work on his laptop, checking the morning news. No breaking news stories he pulled up his daily blog, looking at comments and deciding what to write for the day. He was attracted to the cute woman that walked through the door, maybe he would write about her.
Kate saw the handsome man sitting at his computer, watching him laugh and smile while she ordered. Trying very hard not to stare, however, he was very handsome. He appeared to be about six foot and three inches tall, the football player type build, definitely athletic, she liked that. The man was clean cut, clean shaven, with a short haircut. Receiving her coffee and morning roll, she walked to the empty table next to his.
"Wireless signal good over here?" she asked. Smiling at her "It was good, remarkably, it just got better." he replied. From that moment on they talked while they both surfed the web. She told him that she just arrived in town yesterday, not quite sure of activities to do between meetings. He offered to take her on a tour, she willingly accepted.
That evening he picked her up at the hotel lobby, escorting her out to his car. Like a gentleman he opened the door. She smelled his cologne as he brushed next to her. He smelled inviting, clean and desirable. The car had a fresh scent smell, he took as good of his car as he did of himself. During the car ride their conversation never ended, so many things in common, where has he been all of these years, finding a man like this after 39 years of life. So many years wasted looking for a man that she could share so many thoughts and ideas with.
Finally they arrived back at the hotel, he pulled up to the door. Knowing that she would be in town for week, hoping for another night of her company. He exited and opened her door, stepping out of the car she opened her arms receptively. Pulling him close, surprising him, taking control. She told him she would meet him in the bar after parking the car.
In the bar she found two seats at end of the bar, she ordered two shots of tequila, quickly drinking them before he arrived. He soon appeared and they drank and talked a little bit more, with her drinks gone she grabbed his hand pulling him off his stool. Startled he asked her where they were going. Giggling she turned around, placing her index finger on his lips. He couldn't believe this was happening.
Slipping the card into the door, the green light lit up, turning the handle they entered the room. Kissing him passionately she pushed him to the bed. Taken back from her aggressiveness, he was submissive to her wants. Undressing him she took control by placing his cock into her mouth. Undressing and sucking she continued her attack. Forcing him to give her what she wanted, enjoying his moans of pleasure, she pulled off of his cock. Slowly kissing his abdomen, working her way up, kissing him again. Her naked body on his, she then lifted herself, placing her pussy on his mouth.
She smelled so sweet and fresh, cleanly shaven, he ran his tongue along the lips. She demanded him to suck her clit, so he did, lapping up her juices. Feeling her grind on his face, almost hurting his face, her hips moving faster. Moaning and demanding, she orgasm's with a loud grunt. Waves of wetness poured into his mouth, enjoying her precious juices. While she dismounts from his mouth, she places her mouth on his, cleaning up some of the mess, knowing this would make him harder.
Smiling at him she slowly slid onto his cock. Feeling his thick member pressing against her insides. She maneuvers herself so that the head of his cock is pressing on her g-spot. The intense feeling that one needs to orgasm as quickly as possible, she lets it sit there, to build into the explosion that she wants. As it gets closer she begins to move, causing the intense feeling to build even more. With her hands digging into his chest, she begins to grind hard against his pelvis. Watching her excitement he begins to help, rhythmically moving together. Suddenly they both explode, every ounce of energy races through their bodies. Feeling dizzy afterwards, they both lay there motionless, holding each other close.
After lying there for about an hour, he realizes he must leave, kissing her, he slowly gets dressed. Wrapped in a bed sheet, she sits up in bed, asking him to stay. " I must go home" he sheepishly said. "I understand" Kate said, "I must call home too!"
"You better shower before you go"
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Daring
Above is a picture of Victoria falls located in Zambia. An amazing thing to reach out to take such amazing photograph. I came across a blog that showed this photo, amazed I googled Victoria falls, someday I would like to visit there. Knowing I would be scared to death to swim to edge like this, however, the view would be to die for.
The more I look at this picture, the more I begin to think about life. Thinking about how daring it must be to swim up, trusting that you won't just slip and fall over the edge, plummeting to your death. Amidst the thoughts I began to compare this picture to relationships. Whether your married or not, we all can relate in one way or another.
A time comes in our life when we must trust ourselves to be daring and take a risk. Slowly climbing into the waters, feeling wet and strange as we slowly swim towards the falls. Feeling the current pull you as we swim, swiftly bringing us to that edge. Knowing that when you reach the edge, you will see the most magnificent sight, the emotions and feelings that we will experience.
Taking that risk, the potential to have one of the best experiences of our life. Wanting to feel the awe of such a magnificent experience, however, many of us are hesitant to step into the water.
If we only were to put both feet into the water and trust that we will not go over the falls. Daring ourselves to take that step, instead many of us stand at the shore watching and waiting. Not willing to take that chance, afraid that we be the one slip and fall to our death.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Sleeping
It was late in the night, she still wasn't home from work. He was lying alone in his bed, holding a body pillow tight, imagining it was her. Sound asleep, snoring, TV left on. The house still in the dead of the night.
As she pulled into the driveway, she waited patiently for the garage door to open. Wired from her night at work, needing to unwind. The car lights illuminate the garage as she pulls in and closes the garage door. As she walks into her home the house is silent. She can faintly hear the television in the master bedroom. Knowing that he would always fall asleep as he would try so hard to wait up for her.
Opening the refrigerator she rummaged through for a small snack. Opening the cheese drawer she found some string cheese, and grabbed the gallon of apple cider. Pouring herself a splash of apple cider, she began to feel herself to calm down being home. Eating her snack she looked through the days mail. Advertisements and credit card offers, nothing but junk. Drinking the last drop of apple cider she placed the empty cup into the sink. Turning off the lights she headed upstairs.
Walking into the bedroom she admired him sleeping there all alone. Holding the body pillow as if it were her lying next to him. She began to undress while watching him, lifting her shirt over her head, then reaching behind her back, unclasping her bra. Her small perky breasts all warm and covered, now bared and nipples hard. Placing her hands into her waistband she slowly removed her pants. Leaving her socks on so that her feet would not get cold.
Walking over to the bed a sudden surge of lust overcame her. Pulling back the sheets his naked body was inviting to the touch. She lightly ran her hand down the side of his back, causing him to roll to his back. Lifting the pillow his cock lie there on his inner leg. She slowly leaned over, trying to wake him slowly. She never liked to be awaken quickly, so why would he.
Leaning over she began to kiss his cock, soft gentle kisses, then ever so slowly running her tongue down the shaft. With her right hand she lifted his penis and slowly placed it in her mouth. Beginning with the tip, sucking on the head, pushing the circumcision completely taunt. Running her tongue in circles around the head, first clockwise, then counterclockwise. She could feel the blood begin to surge to his cock. A completely flaccid penis beginning to harden.
As his cock became erect, snoring turned to moaning. Looking up at him she could see his eyes beginning to open. A smirk of smile showing at the corner of his mouth. Taking him deeply he moaned louder, she reached up and pinched his nipple. Stopping long enough to say "Morning baby."
Then kissing up his abdomen, making her way to his lips, kissing her back, she climbed on top. Slowly sliding him inside her, both moaning in pleasure. She leaned back, placing her hands on his knees. Moving her waist like a dolphin swimming through water. He reached out placing his hand on her waist, helping her swim, occasionally reaching up to touch her breasts. The moaning and pleasure became louder, then both of them in a loud gasp, orgasm together.
In total exhaustion she collapsed on top of him, finally exhausted and tired. Holding each other, kissing and loving, she slowly removed her body from his. Leaving a leg and arm draped over him. His penis now flaccid again on his leg, now holding her, exhausted, they fall back asleep.
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Store !
She was shopping in the grocery store, and like usual, she noticed the firemen shopping. They always seemed to flirt with her, telling her to stop by the station with the kids for a tour. She was a bit skeptical, knowing that they were pigs - like most men were - and she had never felt tempted before. Today, though, she felt frisky, not happy at home, and that need to be wanted ached through her body. She felt the desire to be naughty too, to do something daring, not the normal daily routine that she had grown so accustomed to.
It felt a bit odd to flirt while having the kids with, however, that should show the true strength of the firefighter’s confidence. A man that was confident, yet passionate was what she always looked for. Usually, she would fantasize about a certain type of man, but surprisingly, the man she made eye contact with was not her type at all.
He was an average man, big shoulders, blue eyes, the kind of man that could wrap you in his arms and stare into your eyes. His bald head was something new for her. It was shaved and smooth, so she could tell that hygiene was important to him. And a neatly trimmed mustache, too. She had never kissed a man with a mustache before. She found herself more attracted to him the longer she stared.
Daydreaming about her firefighter, she was startled when he walked over and introduced himself. The kids instantly recognized him from the safety talks at school, and he asked them if they shared their safety message with their parents. She was embarrassed when the children said no, and she began to blush. In a nice polite matter, he winked at her and then calmed her by acknowledging his own negligence at home. He then invited the whole family to the station for a tour. She declined politely, regretfully telling him that she had a bachlorette party to attend that evening.
Jokingly he mentioned that the girls should stop by for pictures before they went out on the town for the evening. She was in disbelief that he would invite that kind of trouble to the fire station. But then she began thinking about how clever that could be, she would surprise all of the other women and tell the chauffeur to make a pit stop on the way out of town.
It was after dinner when the limousine pulled in front of the station. The firefighters were all amazed, but definately pleased, to see a dozen beautiful women step out of the car. Testosterone was flowing at an all time high. The girls were excited. Everyone was happy.
It felt a bit odd to flirt while having the kids with, however, that should show the true strength of the firefighter’s confidence. A man that was confident, yet passionate was what she always looked for. Usually, she would fantasize about a certain type of man, but surprisingly, the man she made eye contact with was not her type at all.
He was an average man, big shoulders, blue eyes, the kind of man that could wrap you in his arms and stare into your eyes. His bald head was something new for her. It was shaved and smooth, so she could tell that hygiene was important to him. And a neatly trimmed mustache, too. She had never kissed a man with a mustache before. She found herself more attracted to him the longer she stared.
Daydreaming about her firefighter, she was startled when he walked over and introduced himself. The kids instantly recognized him from the safety talks at school, and he asked them if they shared their safety message with their parents. She was embarrassed when the children said no, and she began to blush. In a nice polite matter, he winked at her and then calmed her by acknowledging his own negligence at home. He then invited the whole family to the station for a tour. She declined politely, regretfully telling him that she had a bachlorette party to attend that evening.
Jokingly he mentioned that the girls should stop by for pictures before they went out on the town for the evening. She was in disbelief that he would invite that kind of trouble to the fire station. But then she began thinking about how clever that could be, she would surprise all of the other women and tell the chauffeur to make a pit stop on the way out of town.
It was after dinner when the limousine pulled in front of the station. The firefighters were all amazed, but definately pleased, to see a dozen beautiful women step out of the car. Testosterone was flowing at an all time high. The girls were excited. Everyone was happy.
Perfume radiated throughout the station, it was the best it had smelled in years. Finally, the two acquaintances met again. He admitted to her how amazed he was that she actually had the party stop for a tour. She then explained that it was more for her than the rest of her party.
They both smiled, understanding what the intentions that evening were. He then showed her his office, explaining that he usually stayed up pretty late. She asked how late, and his answer surprised her.
Later that evening, on her way home, she made a detour to see if the lights were still on at the station. Sure enough, he hadn't lied. She could see him sitting at his desk, patiently waiting. She parked her car in the lot, unsure if she should go in, knowing that she could not behave. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, closing it quietly behind her, trying not to make a sound. Walking quietly, she peered into his office, then quietly tapped on the glass. He turned with a smile, stood and went to let her in. He greeted her with a smile, telling her to be quiet since firefighters were sleeping in their beds. She asked to see the fire trucks, and he led her by the hand. He could feel her heart pounding through their touch.
They reached the bay where the trucks sat peacefully on the floor, gear hanging from the doors, the smell of smoke lingering in the air. She felt the desire to release her inhibitions, so stopping suddenly she turned and embraced him. Then she aked for her private station tour.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Aroused!
Your naked body arouses me every time I see it, lying there in the candlelight, illuminating your tender soft skin. Spread on the bed, black wristlets tied to the bed posts,black anklets holding your legs to the foot post of the bed. Black collar around your neck, blindfolded, waiting impatiently for me to touch you. The contrast of the black against your slightly tanned skin, inviting me to be naughty. I study your body, watching you bite your bottom lip in anticipation.
Today I invited a girl to watch, possibly join in, she quietly undresses and sits in the chair in the corner of the room. You do not know she is there, her eyes sparkle with excitement. Her fantasy has always been to watch, possibly joining the fun if she feels comfortable. Completely undressing, with the exception of her panties, already touching herself, excited with anticipation. Unaware of her presence, knowing you will be surprised, hopefully not upset.
I stand there naked, holding a whip, black leather, with strips of pink fur interlaced for the pain pleasure. The smell of candles permeate our senses, so aware of senses you even think you may smell perfume. You hear me next to the bed, admiring your hard erect nipples, your skin is cold, lying there in waiting. Small goosebumps rise from your skin, slowly I place the whip on your nipple, running it down your side, then down your leg to your inner arch of your foot. Watching your expressions as I tease your body. Your nipple standing tall, wanting to be warmed, sucked and kissed.
I look over and in the corner she is focused on every move, touching herself, one hand on her breast, circling and enticing her nipple, the other in her panties, I see her hand circling her lips. As I watch she bravely removes her panties, allowing me full view of her excitement. Smiling with approval, I hear the wetness as her finger glides through the folds. Her nipples are erect and excited as well, her smile radiates towards us.
I raise the whip and with a sharp and quick motion I strike your breast, I watch you quiver in slight pain. I then lean over kissing and calming your nipple from the shock it just incurred. Then slowly running the whip between your breasts, down your abdomen, across your lips. Biting your lip, your body begins to wiggle under my control. Anxiously waiting to feel my next touch, you brace yourself, thinking it will be a sharp painful pleasure. Instead I choose to release cold whip cream on your nipple. Making it cold, sensation extremes, I lean over and place my warm mouth over your nipple sucking away the cold, warming your breast. I pause watching, waiting, making you anticipate my next move. I position myself, I raise the whip and bring it down across your pussy, watching your abdomen tense, so I raise it again and lash it against your abdomen, left then right. In the corner her eyes widen in disbelief. Her hands stop, watching for your reaction. You arch your back, raising slightly off the bed, I lean over kissing your abdomen.
Vigorously she tugs and pulls at her nipple, touching herself excitedly. I then reach over to the bowl of Ice, placing a cube on your sternum, the cold takes your breath away. Water begins to pool between your breasts, then ever so slowly running down your ribs, then off your sides. Your body wants to be unleashed, endorphins screaming wanting more, wanting to explode. Your body now glistens with water running in different directions, once again highlighting the beauty of your skin.
I slowly raise the whip again, this time turning the handle towards the corner of the room. She looks at me in disbelief, not sure what to do. The smell of sex in the air, I can see the wetness across the room. She slowly rises from the chair, taking the invitation she quietly walks to the bed. Taking the whip she studies your body, admiring what I have admired for years. Fulfilling her and my fantasy, hoping that you will enjoy as well.
Aroused !
Monday, November 3, 2008
Passion
I see you standing there, the lines of your body intrigue me. I can imagine myself walking up behind you, my right hand brushing aside the shoulder length hair from your neck. Leaning over to kiss your neck, you feel my warm breath as my mouth approaches. You tilt your head making your neck more accessible. Soft tender kisses, with the occasional nipping of teeth.
My left hand slowly slides down your shoulder, then to your waist. I feel your body react, the deep inhalation causes the waist of your jeans to gape open, running a finger around your waistline. Your stomach tightens as I reach the front, slowly guiding my hand up your shirt.
My body is pressed against yours, pulling you close, the passion builds. Still kissing your neck, you surrender your body completely. You have lost the ability to control your inhibitions. Nipples erect, wanting to be released from the restraining bra, wanting to be touched, caressed, kissed. You reach up and unclasp your bra, allowing access to your breasts.
My hand reaches up and gently touches your breast, circling the erect nipple, you sigh deeply. Your hand touches mine, squeezing it to your breast. I place your nipple between my thumb and forefinger, gently squeezing and pulling. Meanwhile you reach down and begin to unbutton your jeans, then reaching back up to my hand pulling it down to show me what you have done. Inviting me to continue my journey across your body, the moans, the sighs, encouraging my behavior.
You slightly turn your body so that our mouths meet. Keeping your back to me, submissively enjoying my touch. My hand continues its journey to the opening of your jeans, feeling your hips press forward to my hand. Teasing I slowly reach down and brush the pubic hair with my hand, pulling your hips back to mine. You feel my swelling organ pressing back, wanting to be unleashed.
Kissing you the passion spreads to savage wanting. Intense desire and attraction, passionate for you.
My left hand slowly slides down your shoulder, then to your waist. I feel your body react, the deep inhalation causes the waist of your jeans to gape open, running a finger around your waistline. Your stomach tightens as I reach the front, slowly guiding my hand up your shirt.
My body is pressed against yours, pulling you close, the passion builds. Still kissing your neck, you surrender your body completely. You have lost the ability to control your inhibitions. Nipples erect, wanting to be released from the restraining bra, wanting to be touched, caressed, kissed. You reach up and unclasp your bra, allowing access to your breasts.
My hand reaches up and gently touches your breast, circling the erect nipple, you sigh deeply. Your hand touches mine, squeezing it to your breast. I place your nipple between my thumb and forefinger, gently squeezing and pulling. Meanwhile you reach down and begin to unbutton your jeans, then reaching back up to my hand pulling it down to show me what you have done. Inviting me to continue my journey across your body, the moans, the sighs, encouraging my behavior.
You slightly turn your body so that our mouths meet. Keeping your back to me, submissively enjoying my touch. My hand continues its journey to the opening of your jeans, feeling your hips press forward to my hand. Teasing I slowly reach down and brush the pubic hair with my hand, pulling your hips back to mine. You feel my swelling organ pressing back, wanting to be unleashed.
Kissing you the passion spreads to savage wanting. Intense desire and attraction, passionate for you.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Structure Fire
This is about a 20 minute video. Firefighters go inside of this fire and become trapped. Watch the fire conditions change and listen while everything goes wrong. Welcome to glimpse into my life.
FIREFIGHTERS TRAPPED-SINGLE FAMILY DWELLING FIRE: VIDEO w/RADIO AUDIO
Some of you may have already seen this from Loudoun County (VA), but if you have not, ABSOLUTELY take the time to watch this video-there is much to be learned by this professionally done investigative video: http://www.loudoun.gov/Default.aspx?tabid=2384
FIREFIGHTERS TRAPPED-SINGLE FAMILY DWELLING FIRE: VIDEO w/RADIO AUDIO
Some of you may have already seen this from Loudoun County (VA), but if you have not, ABSOLUTELY take the time to watch this video-there is much to be learned by this professionally done investigative video: http://www.loudoun.gov/Default.aspx?tabid=2384
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Reality
It was a miserable January evening, freezing rain coated everything. A thin layer of ice that complicated things that always seemed so simple. I remember riding backwards in the open cab of the firetruck, back in the days when you actually rode exposed to the elements. Feeling the misty like ice fall down.
When the truck stopped, smoke was everywhere, the weather was holding the smoke down to the ground. Holding it back from rising into the sky, blanketing the ground with smoke. Reports of a child lost in the fire, adrenaline surged through everyone bodies. Firefighters stretching their own limits, risking not seeing their own family for a child they did not know. Putting their own lives on the line, hoping to save the life of a child.
I had been a firefighter for little over a year, following my comrades lead we crawled into the structure. Hose line in hand we shuffled through the living room, stopping briefly, removing a couch to make more room. A few more feet into the home, the senior firefighter was yelling pushing us out of the home. Not understanding what was going on, we reach the deck, looking back I see flame lick through the floor. He was hollering that the floor was moving, get out of the building. He saved our lives that night!
We continued to fight the fire, efforts to find the child were suspended. We felt empty, like failures, wishing we could do more. We then used a chainsaw to create doorways into each bedroom of the ranch style home. I searched the master bedroom, I had this lump in my throat, hoping to find the child, digging through the closet. In reality I did not want to find this child, scared that I would find him dead. Finding nothing I walked around the house to the next doorway. I can't quite remember who or what was being said, I knelt down to enter the room.
Smoke filled the entrance, as my knee hit the floor, the child was in my face. Another firefighter had found his burned lifeless and blackened body.
Stunned I stood there as he brushed me aside, then in the distance I hear the curdling screams of the mother as her son was carried past her. A sound that I can vividly hear today, 15 years later. A sound that I never wish to hear again, a scream that I hope that none of you reading ever have to experience.
I sometimes can't help to think back to that mournful day. A memory that I can never erase, a sound that I can't forget.
This past month I taught over 3,000 school children fire safety, a task that I believe is one of the most important of firefighters. I have been teaching school children for the past 10 years, now curious how many children I have educated in my career to this date. Hoping that by educating children that I never have to relive another experience like that January day.
Before I end today's blog, do not thank me for teaching children, that is not why I write. I am not deserving of any accolades or pats on the back. I am curious to how many lives that I may have helped by what I have taught. Instead take my writing today and apply a moment of home fire safety to your family, so that you or someone you know is not the person screaming at the sight of their child.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Leaves on the Ground...
The leaves are falling on the ground, crunching beneath our feet as we walk. The air is crisp and clean, every breath we can feel the cool air in our lungs. Holding your cold hand I try to warm it with mine. Pulling you closer to me, shoulder to shoulder as we walk. Talking, sharing, enjoying our deep friendship, feeling one with you. Glances into your beautiful eyes, your quirky smile brings me to life. The smells of fall permeate the air, the combination of leaves and grass, the moisture sealed in the coverage of leaves. Occasionally stopping, looking into your eyes, our cold noses touching, lips meeting. The sweet taste of your lips on mine, reminding me of sweet candy as child. Savoring the decadent taste of your lips, drawing in your lower lip, gently sucking and biting. My arms wrap around your body, warming you, as goosebumps explode on your extremities. A giggle, smile, sparkles in your eyes, you kick your heel with excitement. I reach for your cold hand, fingers bonded together, shoulder to shoulder, leaves crunching as we walk.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Joy of a Child
The innocence of a young child, laughter and excitement, uncontrollable jumping. The giggling laughter that makes your heart overflow with joy. Laughter uncontrollably, contagiously spreading throughout the room. The room erupting with laughter started by a child. Feeling our inner youth, we too act like the child, enjoying the unpredictable joy they share.
Their eyes light up like lights on the dance floor. The smile and laughter is the music that makes us dance. The jumping and dancing signifies the freedom of being joyous. The happiness of a child reminds us to let go of all of life's challenges. Reminding us that life is bigger than we will ever be, life is what you have created.
Their eyes light up like lights on the dance floor. The smile and laughter is the music that makes us dance. The jumping and dancing signifies the freedom of being joyous. The happiness of a child reminds us to let go of all of life's challenges. Reminding us that life is bigger than we will ever be, life is what you have created.
Monday, September 1, 2008
The First Ride !
All week long I anticipated finishing the motorcycle riding course. At the end of our first day the instructors asked if we would be interested in taking a road ride upon completion of the course. You could feel the energy in the room when all of us were asked, smiles beamed across everyone faces. Deep down inside a bit of nervousness tingled, reminding you of the dangers that lurked ahead.
During the riding course the instructors challenged the students to face their fears. Accelerating across a parking lot, expecting you to reach 3o mph and being able to stop with in 10 feet. Hands shaking as you twisted the throttle, pulling on the clutch, pressing the gears, building up speed knowing that your going to have to stop quickly. Worried that the motorcycle would slide out of control. The instructors instilling the confidence that all of us could accomplish this fearful task. Always challenging us they decided to change the straight approach technique, making it more difficult by adding a curve, and the instructors themselves stepping out in front of us, like a animal jumping out of the woods. Never doubting that we could get these machines to stop safely.
Sunday afternoon, the class was completed and all of us excited and nervous at the same time. Our first group ride awaited us, sitting patiently for the lead instructor to lead us through the countryside. Nervous about riding on urban roads that heavily traveled the instructor led us down the frontage road.
The rumble of fourteen Harley Davidson's, sounding like thunder rolling along the roadway. One by one we followed each other, staggered in formation. As the bikes left the parking lot the rumble of acceleration was heard near and far. The power of this 728 pound machine could be felt between my legs. My body was pulled through the air on this machine, giving me the ride of my life.
Accelerating faster I could feel the wind resisting me as I twisted the throttle. Holding on a bit tighter, my body relaxing, the vibrations of this big bike calmed my nerves. Before I knew it I was cruising at highway speeds through the countryside. The sun was bright and we could see for miles, curving and twisting along the roads. Taking in the beautiful scenery as rode along, enjoying the environment. Much different than when we ride in a car, protected by glass and metal, limiting your senses.
The sweet smells of fresh cut grass and the pungent smell of manure. The bright sunshine hidden by trees overlapping the roadway. The hot sun beating down on your back, the coolness of the shade provided by trees. Enjoying the beautiful surroundings that we are given to live. Feeling the raw power of a machine underneath you, guiding you through the countryside. The rumble and vibrations that soothe your senses. Knowing that you have control over this machine that provides so much pleasure in your life. Riding along a stop sign lies ahead, a decision has to be made.
Which direction shall I turn? If I go left that will take me back to where I came from, straight or right will continue my journey. I look left then right, and continue on in my journey. Enjoying those things that give me such pleasure.
Not looking back I continue on, being able to enjoy the land in which we live, home of free and land of the brave.
During the riding course the instructors challenged the students to face their fears. Accelerating across a parking lot, expecting you to reach 3o mph and being able to stop with in 10 feet. Hands shaking as you twisted the throttle, pulling on the clutch, pressing the gears, building up speed knowing that your going to have to stop quickly. Worried that the motorcycle would slide out of control. The instructors instilling the confidence that all of us could accomplish this fearful task. Always challenging us they decided to change the straight approach technique, making it more difficult by adding a curve, and the instructors themselves stepping out in front of us, like a animal jumping out of the woods. Never doubting that we could get these machines to stop safely.
Sunday afternoon, the class was completed and all of us excited and nervous at the same time. Our first group ride awaited us, sitting patiently for the lead instructor to lead us through the countryside. Nervous about riding on urban roads that heavily traveled the instructor led us down the frontage road.
The rumble of fourteen Harley Davidson's, sounding like thunder rolling along the roadway. One by one we followed each other, staggered in formation. As the bikes left the parking lot the rumble of acceleration was heard near and far. The power of this 728 pound machine could be felt between my legs. My body was pulled through the air on this machine, giving me the ride of my life.
Accelerating faster I could feel the wind resisting me as I twisted the throttle. Holding on a bit tighter, my body relaxing, the vibrations of this big bike calmed my nerves. Before I knew it I was cruising at highway speeds through the countryside. The sun was bright and we could see for miles, curving and twisting along the roads. Taking in the beautiful scenery as rode along, enjoying the environment. Much different than when we ride in a car, protected by glass and metal, limiting your senses.
The sweet smells of fresh cut grass and the pungent smell of manure. The bright sunshine hidden by trees overlapping the roadway. The hot sun beating down on your back, the coolness of the shade provided by trees. Enjoying the beautiful surroundings that we are given to live. Feeling the raw power of a machine underneath you, guiding you through the countryside. The rumble and vibrations that soothe your senses. Knowing that you have control over this machine that provides so much pleasure in your life. Riding along a stop sign lies ahead, a decision has to be made.
Which direction shall I turn? If I go left that will take me back to where I came from, straight or right will continue my journey. I look left then right, and continue on in my journey. Enjoying those things that give me such pleasure.
Not looking back I continue on, being able to enjoy the land in which we live, home of free and land of the brave.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Testing the waters
You were sitting on the couch across the room, the lights were dim, music filled the air. She stood in front of me as I sat on the couch, admiring her beauty. Her skin tanned and soft, waiting to patiently to feel her silkiness. She stood between my legs, slowly removing her clothes, smiling at me, knowing you were watching. Being discreet yet revealing at the same time, using her body to shield your complete view.
Her body moved with the music, slowly and seductively, knowing how to get my attention, she slowly moved in closer to me. She then put her body against mine, telling me that I smelled good, slowly pressing her bare breasts to my chest. The closer she came to me, her perfume raised my senses. Her lips grazed my ear, then my cheek, with that slight moan that makes the hair on your neck slightly raise.
Afraid to touch her, not knowing how you felt, not wanting you to feel insecure. I could feel you watching, wondering what your thoughts were, afraid to touch her. Resisting every temptation in my body, her breasts felt sensual on my cheek. Her skin felt so soft, her touch drawing me in even closer, tempting me, wanting her, wanting you.
She then asked me to touch her, with slight hesitation my hand touched her breast. The ice was broken, my other hand reached out, both of her breasts in my hands. Small, soft, perky, enjoying their feel, wanting to share it with you. My hands then ran down her sides, the hip bones protruding, using the back of my hands, feeling her body. She leans back in enjoyment, smiling at me, showing me her interest. Briefly she looks at you with a smile, checking for your approval, receiving it she leans back into me, pressing against me, feeling my enjoyment. My hands begin to run down her back, sensually touching her shoulder blades. Slowly moving them to her soft ass, slightly squeezing not wanting to let go.
She gives me a small kiss and a whisper in my ear, again goosebumps raise on my neck. The whole experience feeling as if we found natural hot springs. Unsure if the water is safe to enter, we test it first, slowly entering until we are submerged in the pleasurable hot spring.
Her body moved with the music, slowly and seductively, knowing how to get my attention, she slowly moved in closer to me. She then put her body against mine, telling me that I smelled good, slowly pressing her bare breasts to my chest. The closer she came to me, her perfume raised my senses. Her lips grazed my ear, then my cheek, with that slight moan that makes the hair on your neck slightly raise.
Afraid to touch her, not knowing how you felt, not wanting you to feel insecure. I could feel you watching, wondering what your thoughts were, afraid to touch her. Resisting every temptation in my body, her breasts felt sensual on my cheek. Her skin felt so soft, her touch drawing me in even closer, tempting me, wanting her, wanting you.
She then asked me to touch her, with slight hesitation my hand touched her breast. The ice was broken, my other hand reached out, both of her breasts in my hands. Small, soft, perky, enjoying their feel, wanting to share it with you. My hands then ran down her sides, the hip bones protruding, using the back of my hands, feeling her body. She leans back in enjoyment, smiling at me, showing me her interest. Briefly she looks at you with a smile, checking for your approval, receiving it she leans back into me, pressing against me, feeling my enjoyment. My hands begin to run down her back, sensually touching her shoulder blades. Slowly moving them to her soft ass, slightly squeezing not wanting to let go.
She gives me a small kiss and a whisper in my ear, again goosebumps raise on my neck. The whole experience feeling as if we found natural hot springs. Unsure if the water is safe to enter, we test it first, slowly entering until we are submerged in the pleasurable hot spring.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Pleasure
I sat their and watched you touch her softly, first with hesitation, then I saw your quirky smile. Her hand slightly touching the side your face and down your collar bone then to your breast. Meanwhile she was dancing her body on yours, rhythmic to the music, your bodies rhythmically massaging each other. Her lips on your cheek, softly kissing, your smile showing the excitement. Moving to your breast she pulled back on your top, succulent kissing of your nipple. Her tanned complexion against your white breast. Her soft lips kissing, her wet tongue circling, her eyes looking at you. Running her hair across your chest, each movement making you smile.
As she lifts herself looking into your eyes, she smiles back at you, looking too at your pleasure. You can feel the energy in the room. As if lighting was racing across the sky, waiting for the thunder to rumble. Instead of thunder, it was the smile of pleasure.
As she lifts herself looking into your eyes, she smiles back at you, looking too at your pleasure. You can feel the energy in the room. As if lighting was racing across the sky, waiting for the thunder to rumble. Instead of thunder, it was the smile of pleasure.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just hope its not a train
Today I do feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is the train. So many emotions and feelings racing through my mind. Tears running down my face, filled with sadness, desperately wanting it to be light and not the train.
I have made some choices in life that certainly have not been the correct choices to make, admittedly acknowledging those mistakes. And everyday you are reminded of the wrongs that you have done.
My life has become an open book in many ways, things that I used to keep private, open for viewing. Trying not to leave any doubt that my behavior has changed, however no matter how hard we try to change. Life is what it is today. I am the person that I am, no matter how hard I try to be that better person, I am me.
So right now I am standing on the tracks, feeling the ground rumbling under my feet. I hear the muffled sounds of the engine slowly getting louder. I see the light and it gradually gets brighter. So I stand here with my arms wide open, accepting the fact that I may soon be run over. Images of my life passing me by, wondering what decisions could change the outcome. Wondering if I jump off the tracks now will that train miss me all together. Trying to figure out how to save my self from being another tragedy. Thoughts of my wife and children, how will this affect their lives. So many thoughts and concerns race through my head, my heart is pounding, my skin drenched in sweat. Will I get myself out of this mess or will the train disintegrate me. How bad is it going to hurt, or will it be as easy as flipping a switch. I so badly want a way out of my mess, wanting to be secure with my family. How did I get where I am, I made a poor decision to walk down these tracks. When I walked into this tunnel, I never imagined the situation that I am in. Wanting this to be a dream, when I awaken it be nothing more than a dream.
I feel alone and in despair.
I have made some choices in life that certainly have not been the correct choices to make, admittedly acknowledging those mistakes. And everyday you are reminded of the wrongs that you have done.
My life has become an open book in many ways, things that I used to keep private, open for viewing. Trying not to leave any doubt that my behavior has changed, however no matter how hard we try to change. Life is what it is today. I am the person that I am, no matter how hard I try to be that better person, I am me.
So right now I am standing on the tracks, feeling the ground rumbling under my feet. I hear the muffled sounds of the engine slowly getting louder. I see the light and it gradually gets brighter. So I stand here with my arms wide open, accepting the fact that I may soon be run over. Images of my life passing me by, wondering what decisions could change the outcome. Wondering if I jump off the tracks now will that train miss me all together. Trying to figure out how to save my self from being another tragedy. Thoughts of my wife and children, how will this affect their lives. So many thoughts and concerns race through my head, my heart is pounding, my skin drenched in sweat. Will I get myself out of this mess or will the train disintegrate me. How bad is it going to hurt, or will it be as easy as flipping a switch. I so badly want a way out of my mess, wanting to be secure with my family. How did I get where I am, I made a poor decision to walk down these tracks. When I walked into this tunnel, I never imagined the situation that I am in. Wanting this to be a dream, when I awaken it be nothing more than a dream.
I feel alone and in despair.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Red Sheets
It is mid afternoon and the cool breeze is blowing in so gently. I watch you sleeping, lying there, peacefully sleeping. The deep red sheets against your slightly tanned body. Your beauty radiating while you lie there sleeping. Your hair is against your cheek, eyes are closed, I can see you breathing. Your arms wrapped around the pillow, holding tightly against your body, as if it were me. Your bare back exposed, your succulent shoulder blades, prominent, sexy, attractive. Your leg pokes out of the red and onto another pillow, comfortable, wrapped around it. Your sexy bare leg, buttocks sticking from your lower shorts. So peaceful, wanting to climb on top of you, make love to you. Explicit thoughts of what I want to do racing through my mind. Then I slowly approach the bed, pause, wanting to touch you. Wanting to crawl into those sheets and wrap my arm and leg around you, making you my pillow.
Instead I stand there, watching you sleep, resisting my temptations.
Instead I stand there, watching you sleep, resisting my temptations.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Just open the god damn door!
Locked in a small container, confined, wishing you could escape. Barely enough room to move, slightly twisting to rid yourself of that uncomfortable feeling, however the slightest move, you feel trapped.
The air is thick and hard to breathe, you are breathing warm moist air, the air you body has exhaled. Sweat begins to run across your brow, beading, dripping, running down the side of your face. You begin to feel the sweat bead and then trickle down the spine of your back. Your limbs become achy due to the confined feeling, the lack of being able to move. As the time passes, the air becomes warmer and warmer, not hot, definitely uncomfortable.
Now you begin to feel more anxious, hoping that someone will open the container and let you out, if it were only that simple. Our pulse begins pounding, feeling it in your ears, across your temple. The throat begins to get dry like cotton, making it difficult to swallow. Meanwhile your pulse is bounding harder, like the beat of a drum. Your body dripping sweat, as if you were in steam room. Seeing the veins on your hands stand out like a man nailed to a cross. Your body is screaming for help, that one breath of fresh cool air. Wondering if you will ever escape the mess that your in. Your mind thinking, wondering, hoping, wishing for some answers. Knowing that all it will take is for someone to open the door to the container. Letting us breathe, allowing us the opportunity to escape.
Instead we lie there helpless, screaming out for help, "Just open the god damn door."
The air is thick and hard to breathe, you are breathing warm moist air, the air you body has exhaled. Sweat begins to run across your brow, beading, dripping, running down the side of your face. You begin to feel the sweat bead and then trickle down the spine of your back. Your limbs become achy due to the confined feeling, the lack of being able to move. As the time passes, the air becomes warmer and warmer, not hot, definitely uncomfortable.
Now you begin to feel more anxious, hoping that someone will open the container and let you out, if it were only that simple. Our pulse begins pounding, feeling it in your ears, across your temple. The throat begins to get dry like cotton, making it difficult to swallow. Meanwhile your pulse is bounding harder, like the beat of a drum. Your body dripping sweat, as if you were in steam room. Seeing the veins on your hands stand out like a man nailed to a cross. Your body is screaming for help, that one breath of fresh cool air. Wondering if you will ever escape the mess that your in. Your mind thinking, wondering, hoping, wishing for some answers. Knowing that all it will take is for someone to open the door to the container. Letting us breathe, allowing us the opportunity to escape.
Instead we lie there helpless, screaming out for help, "Just open the god damn door."
Monday, May 5, 2008
The wound
The wound is gaping open, blood spills out, running onto the floor. Initially we apply direct pressure to it, the dressing is becoming soaked. We add more dressings to the wound and it continues to bleed. It slows it down, we are concerned, still bleeding, not coagulating.
We rush to the emergency room hoping that they can help. The doctor notices how large the wound is, and even the doctor is unsure whether he can stop the bleeding. They continue to add dressings to the wound, slowing it down.
In the meantime we begin to feel weak. We can feel the pain of the wound, the dressing help a bit, however, every time they change a dressing it opens up and the air stings our flesh. We look down at the wound and the sight of the large gaping whole is not as large as it feels. It still is going to leave a big scar, I just hope the bleeding stops.
Suddenly the doctor takes his syringe and starts injecting lydocaine into the wound so he can begin the tedious job of sewing up that large whole. I feel the needle piercing my open flesh, the pain is unbearable. Soon after I become numb, not feeling a thing. He is now sewing the wound closed, I don't feel a thing. Just thinking about the scar it will leave behind. Wondering what people will think when they see me.
Leaving a lasting impression of the things that I have done.
We rush to the emergency room hoping that they can help. The doctor notices how large the wound is, and even the doctor is unsure whether he can stop the bleeding. They continue to add dressings to the wound, slowing it down.
In the meantime we begin to feel weak. We can feel the pain of the wound, the dressing help a bit, however, every time they change a dressing it opens up and the air stings our flesh. We look down at the wound and the sight of the large gaping whole is not as large as it feels. It still is going to leave a big scar, I just hope the bleeding stops.
Suddenly the doctor takes his syringe and starts injecting lydocaine into the wound so he can begin the tedious job of sewing up that large whole. I feel the needle piercing my open flesh, the pain is unbearable. Soon after I become numb, not feeling a thing. He is now sewing the wound closed, I don't feel a thing. Just thinking about the scar it will leave behind. Wondering what people will think when they see me.
Leaving a lasting impression of the things that I have done.
Friday, March 28, 2008
This is what I live for!!!
Passion, Dedication, Knowledge, Pride, Integrity, Tradition, all of these are words associated with firefighting. Someone recently asked me to talk about firefighting. I will try my best attempt do so, however, it is just a job that challenges us.
Like I said, being a firefighter is a job, but you have to be passionate about it. You have live it, breathe it, and be in love with it. It seems quirky to say that, being said in the movie "Backdraft" and all. It is very true, I once was told by a very special person, " Someday I hope you love me as much as you love your job!" Lets think about that, very strong words when a person is about to get married. 13 years later I still remember that very day. In fact I remember putting off to go see the minister to set up the wedding, all for a structure fire.
To some people that may seem a bit radical. Think about the situations that we are sent into, maybe just a bit radical don't you think. The statement that these guys are rushing in as people are rushing out. A big reason why 115 people die every year in the line of duty, not counting those that die from occupational cancers. Thank god for unions that fight for workers rights, otherwise cancer would not be recognized.
The firefighters are called when someones world has just took a shit on them. The men and women who do this job are expected to fix it, even if they can't. That is what I live for, that moment when I can walk into someones life and possibly fix or help them in a time of need. Being the person that reaches out with that helping hand. Whether it be running into a burning building or assisting at a motor vehicle accident. Even something as simple as changing a battery in smoke detector. We are called for many things, basically when you don't know who to call, people call us. Some things you just have to take as a grain of salt.
With good also comes the bad, which I have written about before. Somewhat you are the bearer of bad news. Cutting a dead body out of mangled car, doing CPR on a dad before his daughters wedding. Many times people ask what is the worst thing I have ever seen, do they really want to know? I see lots of bad things, and I really don't want to share the horrible things that I have seen. Hell a few years back I had to deal with three suicides in three shifts, thanks have a nice day. Fucking nosey people is all have to say about that.
Yes this is what I live for. The moment that I can walk into someones life and possibly fix or help them in the time of need. If you knew me, you would definitely say that I am passionate about my job. Passionate about the people in my life, life is short, have fun, and live it to the fullest. Passionate for the best job in the world, I am living my dream.
Like I said, being a firefighter is a job, but you have to be passionate about it. You have live it, breathe it, and be in love with it. It seems quirky to say that, being said in the movie "Backdraft" and all. It is very true, I once was told by a very special person, " Someday I hope you love me as much as you love your job!" Lets think about that, very strong words when a person is about to get married. 13 years later I still remember that very day. In fact I remember putting off to go see the minister to set up the wedding, all for a structure fire.
To some people that may seem a bit radical. Think about the situations that we are sent into, maybe just a bit radical don't you think. The statement that these guys are rushing in as people are rushing out. A big reason why 115 people die every year in the line of duty, not counting those that die from occupational cancers. Thank god for unions that fight for workers rights, otherwise cancer would not be recognized.
The firefighters are called when someones world has just took a shit on them. The men and women who do this job are expected to fix it, even if they can't. That is what I live for, that moment when I can walk into someones life and possibly fix or help them in a time of need. Being the person that reaches out with that helping hand. Whether it be running into a burning building or assisting at a motor vehicle accident. Even something as simple as changing a battery in smoke detector. We are called for many things, basically when you don't know who to call, people call us. Some things you just have to take as a grain of salt.
With good also comes the bad, which I have written about before. Somewhat you are the bearer of bad news. Cutting a dead body out of mangled car, doing CPR on a dad before his daughters wedding. Many times people ask what is the worst thing I have ever seen, do they really want to know? I see lots of bad things, and I really don't want to share the horrible things that I have seen. Hell a few years back I had to deal with three suicides in three shifts, thanks have a nice day. Fucking nosey people is all have to say about that.
Yes this is what I live for. The moment that I can walk into someones life and possibly fix or help them in the time of need. If you knew me, you would definitely say that I am passionate about my job. Passionate about the people in my life, life is short, have fun, and live it to the fullest. Passionate for the best job in the world, I am living my dream.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Help Me!
Sometimes in life we take a hard fall, hoping that no one saw us, we try to get up quickly. We are standing on fragile ice, trying to be careful, not to crack it and fall in to the icy water. Suddenly the ice breaks and we fall into the freezing water. We are hanging on with our arms, unable to lift ourselves back onto the ice. Every time we do the ice breaks more. Now our legs begin to feel numb, we begin to feel fatigued, tired, like we can't go on anymore. Waiting and wondering if anyone will come to our rescue. Just give me something to hang on to, a rope, ladder, even hope would be enough. Somehow you find strength to try again. With no luck we are stuck, waiting for that glimmer of hope that somehow or someway we will be rescued. Will we drown if no one comes to our aid. We begin to realize that water is no longer cold, we just don't feel it any longer. Our breathing slows, we try to rest, hoping and waiting.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Dying
Imagine yourself being trapped, your lost, and now you can't find your way out. It is hot, your confused, and the noise around you makes it impossible to get someones attention. You feel your heart begin to race, you begin to feel anxious, breathing faster. Breathing faster lessens your time of survival. You are breathing off a tank of air and your time is limited. You crawl on your belly to a wall, feeling for window to escape. Never feeling that window you go to the next room. Still no window you keep crawling, you feel like you have gone in complete circles. You are now very disorientated, you can't think straight. Now the bell and vibrating face piece have stopped, and through your training you know that you have less than a minute. You turn yourself, so that your feet are against the wall, you kick backwards like a donkey. Making a hole in the wall so that you can escape to the outside, instead your in a closet. Every breath your mask gets tighter to your face, no more air for the taking. If you take your mask off it will be complete smoke, it will choke you and you will pass out. The natural thing to do is to take off your mask. Otherwise you can't breathe at all, just make it quick you pray. You pull your radio to your face, you take off your mask, MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY. I am out of air.....tell my family I love them. On the radio you hear where are you? You hit your emergency alarm on your air tank, and the smoke burns your lungs. Tears come to your eyes, knowing that your children will never see their father again. Your now choking and soon it will be over. Those last seconds of life, so many things go through your head, slowly everything fades away.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Firefighting
We arrived back to the station to eat lunch. The bag of burritos was placed on the table, and the guys milled around the kitchen getting drinks. The firefighters took their usual places at the table, just like people do at home. The officer takes his position and the others follow like children. The senior firefighter turns on the television, appropriately selecting the noon news. Not wasting time they quickly began to shovel the food into bodies. Knowing that at a moments notice they can called away from their warm meal. The officer finished and dismissed himself from the table and began to clean the kitchen. Others had partially eaten their meals when the alarm sounded. A few extra bites were taken to ensure that their station was not due. The word structure fire and food was dropped, left behind in piles around the table. Shoes were kicked off their feet as they climbed into their gear. Encapsulating their bodies, not leaving any skin exposed to the elements they were about to endure.
As the ladder truck rolled through the community you could see the smoke rising in the distance. Cars pulling out of their way, for the exception of that one asshole that thinks his day is more important than the ladder truck. Sirens blaring like a small child when his toys are ruined. Air horns blasting, clearing a path to maneuver through. Vehicles begin to part, leaving them like the wake that a boat leaves behind. As the ladder truck rounds the corner the fire insight, smoke billowing. Smoke colors changing rapidly, pushing, chugging, blackened like a steam locomotive building speed.
As the firefighters depart the vehicle, smoke perforates their senses. They appeared like a team approaches the playing field. Sizing up their opponent, ready for the battle of their lives. Approaching the doorway, smoke lay on the floor. Hose leads the way and disappears like a road in to the fog. Before their masks are placed on their faces, they can taste the smoke as it burns their lungs. As if claws had just shred their throat and the blood trickles into their lungs. Masks are on now as they enter the building, listening and feeling their way to the fire. Heat intensifies the closer they get, pushing them down onto their bellies. Crawling beneath the devil, trying to escape his strong hold. Crackling is heard above them, the smoke begins to dissipate as they reach the seed of the fire. Engine company members use their hose, in comparison of the knight using his sword to slay the dragon. And then in the shadows of the orange glow is the silhouette of lifeless man and wife.
Hearts pounding in their chests, and a lumps in their throat. First the woman and then the man, they removed them as fast as they can. Through the smoke and to the lawn, exhausted they came to a rest. Medics rushed to their aid, firefighters pushed aside. Anguish on their faces, knowing the outcome of their sacrifices. Feeling empty, like a ball player missing the winning shot. Hearing sorrow, screams, and disappointment in the crowd that goatherd to watch the game. Knowing that they are the hero's that will get the blame.
As the ladder truck rolled through the community you could see the smoke rising in the distance. Cars pulling out of their way, for the exception of that one asshole that thinks his day is more important than the ladder truck. Sirens blaring like a small child when his toys are ruined. Air horns blasting, clearing a path to maneuver through. Vehicles begin to part, leaving them like the wake that a boat leaves behind. As the ladder truck rounds the corner the fire insight, smoke billowing. Smoke colors changing rapidly, pushing, chugging, blackened like a steam locomotive building speed.
As the firefighters depart the vehicle, smoke perforates their senses. They appeared like a team approaches the playing field. Sizing up their opponent, ready for the battle of their lives. Approaching the doorway, smoke lay on the floor. Hose leads the way and disappears like a road in to the fog. Before their masks are placed on their faces, they can taste the smoke as it burns their lungs. As if claws had just shred their throat and the blood trickles into their lungs. Masks are on now as they enter the building, listening and feeling their way to the fire. Heat intensifies the closer they get, pushing them down onto their bellies. Crawling beneath the devil, trying to escape his strong hold. Crackling is heard above them, the smoke begins to dissipate as they reach the seed of the fire. Engine company members use their hose, in comparison of the knight using his sword to slay the dragon. And then in the shadows of the orange glow is the silhouette of lifeless man and wife.
Hearts pounding in their chests, and a lumps in their throat. First the woman and then the man, they removed them as fast as they can. Through the smoke and to the lawn, exhausted they came to a rest. Medics rushed to their aid, firefighters pushed aside. Anguish on their faces, knowing the outcome of their sacrifices. Feeling empty, like a ball player missing the winning shot. Hearing sorrow, screams, and disappointment in the crowd that goatherd to watch the game. Knowing that they are the hero's that will get the blame.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Freedom
Stretching my leg out, over the seat, straddling my machine. Using my left leg I pushed the motorcycle up, balancing it between my legs. I place the key into the ignition, turning it on I press the start button. The vibration of the engine spreads adrenaline through my body. I adjust my gloves, placing my helmet on my head, placing my glasses over my eyes. The rumbling of the bike, like the sweet music that relaxes you at the end of the day. I lift my foot and engage the transmission, releasing the break, accelerating away. I feel a rush of energy through my body. Becoming one with the bike, the pure power, surging you through life. My senses absorbing the sights and sounds of leisure. The smell of fresh air as you ride through the country. Losing myself, allowing my mind to wander and dream while enjoying the beautiful sights of the ride. Not having a destination, carefree, wondering where the day will take me. No responsibilities, just me, my bike, and my soul.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Reflections of death
Many times in life we are faced with different challenges that push us to limits unknown to us. Life and death are part of everyday life in my world. Unfortunately the images of death distort the positives in life. I can still hear the screams of the mother when we found her dead child in a fire. The words of young man that grabbed his chest, looking at me in despair, then falling at my feet dying, taking the last breaths that he would ever take. Standing in a ditch with a deceased, while somewhere their family awaits their return. The memories of those that I have somehow or another have helped has become clouded and obscured. If for one moment I could comfort the family of one who passes. Instead I see their fear, denial, anger and disbelief. Not quite 40 and 20 years of trying to help, death of many haunt me to this day. Amazingly the death and sorrow that my eyes have witnessed, has no equal to those who have given their lives for our wonderful nation. And it is no match for those that have witnessed such devastation as 9/11.
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