Saturday, April 7, 2012

Morning Blow Job!

Standing in the shower, the hot water raining on my body, rinsing the soap, leaving clean skin behind. Mesmerized by the water raining down, I just stand there, enjoying how it touches my body. Refreshing me, leaving me alive, ready to embrace the new day. It is time to finish getting ready, I turn the handle all the way to left, counter clockwise till it stops. I wipe the water away from my eyes, reaching over the top, I grab my towel. I open the glass door, wiping my face as exit, opening my eyes to see her standing there in front of me. I attempt to speak and she touches my lips with her finger. Smiling, taking the towel from my hands, she begins to dab and dry my body. Starting with my head, then shoulders, working her way down. She stands in front of me, smiling, watching my expression. As she reached my cock, she gently and distinctivly went around it, leaving it untouched. Moving downward to my legs, now kneeling on the floor, I look down, she looks up, smiling. She takes my cold wet cock into her mouth, warming it, then releasing it, standing, she moves to my back.Standing behind me she uses the towel, stroking my back, in a downward motion. My ass next, then my legs, my cock hardening as she touches me. Now standing she grabs my hand and leads me to the bedroom. Instructing me to lie on the bed, she places her hand where I should lie. I followed her directions, I climbed onto the bed, rolling on my back, now looking at her, she move in between my legs. Her naked breasts against my legs, her hand moving across my abdomen, my cock now hard, erect, ready for her undivided attention. Her hand now on my cock, she slowly strokes it, first her grip was light, gliding over the skin. Then on the downward motion she squeezed it hard, forcing the skin tight around the base, the head was taunt, exposed, as she took her tongue, flicking it gently over the head. With her hand on my cock, she lowered herself, placing my balls in her mouth, gently sucking, licking and back to sucking. Then in one quick motion, she ran her tongue from my balls up my shaft, then placing my cock into her mouth. She took it deep into her mouth, the cold skin now blanketed by the warm wetness it seeked. With a slow motion she then released my cock from her mouth, the cool air now surrounding it, she regains her composure. Taking my cock in her hand, she now put her mouth back onto my cock, moving rythmically up and down. As I lie there I watch her, she looks at me, I see her watching my body, my reactions. She then places her other hand on my balls, lightly touching them, releasing more of my senses. The warm mouth on my cock, hand squezzing my cock, her other hand massaging my balls, I could feel myself working my way towards an orgasm. She meant buisness, wanting to get me to the point of no return. Many times she work me up and slow back down, but today I had to be to work, time was not in my favor. As I laid there watching her, I began to imagine another woman eating her pussy. Her body quivering as she licked and touched her, in the positon I was in, I imagined looking down, seeing my wife suck my cock, the other woman looking up at her and me. Totally getting off on watching her suck me, knowing I was getting off watching her suck my wife. The image was clear in my mind, feeling her as she was working my cock. She could feel me getting closer, my body now moving with hers, her hand firm on my cock, her mouth going down over the head, just past the circumscison. Getting ever so closer, wanting to release my cum in her mouth. Suddenly she increased the suction, the movements became faster, her grip firmer. I could feel the tension buiding, my cock felt as if it were going to burst. Her hair brushing my inner thigh, her hand still around my balls, no longer imagining nothing but cumming. Then she pressed hard just below my balls, pressing the area next to the prostrate, sending me over the cliff. I gasp loudly, moaning in pleasure as my body released all of the energy it had, causing me to shake and quiver. Swallowing all that I gave, she giggled with pleasure, smiling, while she continued to tease my cock. My cock so sensitive to every touch, she continued to lick me dry. Sucking every last drop from the head, spreading the hole, licking into it, making sure it clean. Now just sitting there, hand still on my shaft, she stroked it, as if she were milking it, licking what she produced. My body now calming, relaxing, wishing I could go back to bed, she climbed on top, smiling, she kissed me. Wishing me a good day at work.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Making myself Cum!

I feel the need to cum, my cock is hard, thick, pulsating, wanting to burst. My hand strokes is gently, keeping it very interested. The slightest of stroke, heightens it's need to release.

I find myself browsing the Internet, searching lesbian video's. Finally finding one that shows two women being filmed amateur. Both giggling in anticipation, finally kissing and surprising each other as they do so, enjoying it, turning me on. The video looks genuine, the way they interact with each other does not appeared to be staged. The camera appears to be on a tripod, not moving, stationary like a cam.

Watching them heightened my interest, my cock was pulsating as I stroked it, my arousal was at an 8 on the scale of 1-10. Knowing that I slowed myself down, rewinding back to watching them kiss, touching each other for the first time. Watching every move closely, intriguing me, wishing I was there, taking part in their festivities.

My right hand now stroking my cock, firm grip, feeling the skin fold over the head of my circumcision. I enjoy feeling the pressure around the shaft of my cock, however the most sensitive is the ridge, hidden by the circumcision. Knowing what my body needs, I seem to find it on every stroke. Add the visual of two women exploring each other, I am so close to the release that I am looking for.

I can feel the orgasm building, almost to the point I can't hold back anymore. Knowing if I speed up my strokes, I will achieve what I am looking for, still holding back, waiting for the right moment. Then as I watch the video, I see the one woman's stomach contract, her toes curl, her body unleashing itself. Uncontrollable and sensitive to the others woman touch it is time for me to let go of myself.

As they begin to kiss I begin to move my hand faster, the head of my cock begins feel as if it needs to explode. Seconds later I feel the release of energy from behind my balls, essentially being my prostrate, working its way through my body. Then I feel it traveling up my shaft, finally shooting out of the head of my cock.

The pressure behind my excitement shoots cum over my shoulder, onto my chest, soaking my chest hair. My cock sensitive, cum now oozing, I slow my motion down, finally coming to a rest. Feeling the release of energy, I lie there for a moment. Finally getting up to go clean off and shower.

Pleased that I finally came, wishing it were real, living in a world of fantasy.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Finding the door!

The room was dark, I was alone, no windows, no light, searching for a way out. Trapped, I sat there, I could hear those on the outside, talking about me, questioning my character. I felt myself changing, more withdrawn, possibly it was because there was no one else to talk too, although I really hated the person I had become, the person that I wanted to be, the person who I thought I was, yet today, I am unsure of my own identity.

The dark room was cold, damp, wearing down every part of my being. Wondering if I would ever see the light of day again. I would sit in the corner, knees to my chest, waiting and hoping that someone would open the door. Many times as I would get near the door, I would see the light coming through the bottom, shadows of footsteps, then as I touch the handle, the voices would soften so that I couldn't hear. I would slowly withdraw my hand and find my corner of the room.

Many thoughts crossed my mind during that time, many of those thoughts circulated around me, hating the very person that I was, feeling as if I was the sole person to blame, even though I knew I wasn't, I came to believe that I alone was a monster. A monster that had to be caged and controlled, locked away and hidden away. Much like a prisoner, hoping that I would be reformed by the time I would re-enter society.

My room or cell has changed me, more than I could ever imagine. I want so badly to be the person that I thought I was, however, if I don't control my desires and obsessions, I will become that monster again. I slowly begin to turn the handle of the door, placing sunglasses over my eyes, preparing myself. The light begins to shine through the crack, squinting...I finally opened the door.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Pubic Haircut~Shaving her

She slowly removed her clothes, inquisitively looking at me. Standing there naked, I instructed her to lie on the bed. Complaining she was cold, she grabbed a blanket and draped it across her body. Biting her lip she watched intently as I prepared to shave her pussy.

Much like a doctor preparing for surgery, I began the process, gathering all the items that I would need. First unfolding a towel, asking her to raise her ass off the bed, I slid it neatly underneath her bottom. Then taking a razor out of the package, I placed it on the edge of the towel. I disappeared into the bathroom to return with the shaving cream, placing it on the opposite side of the towel.

She could hear the water running in the bathroom, I returned to fill a cup of nice warm water. While in the bathroom I removed my clothes, unrestricted myself, allowing my skin to touch hers. As I returned to her side, she smiled when she had seen that I was naked as well.

I slowly climbed into the bed, placing the cup of warm water next to right hip, balancing it on the bed. She reached down to steady the cup, ensuring that it wouldn't spill. I removed the blanket from her body, her nipples stood erect, goosebumps popping up all over her body. Spreading her legs I climbed between them, admiring her pussy, salivating at the mere thought of exposing it completely.

Her pubic hair was average in length, obviously kept up, bikini line shaved, but never completely. I could tell she was nervous, nervous of the unknown, nervous that she was allowing a man to shave her most delicate parts. As I reached for the shaving cream, I could see the wetness dripping from her lips, I could tell she was looking forward to my artistic talents.

I placed the shaving cream can at the top of her pubic hair, pressing the button as the cold gel landing on lower abdomen. She sucked in her stomach as the cold gel took her off guard, biting her lip, closing her eyes. I slowly began to spread the gel across the hair, covering her pelvis, then down the sides of her lips. The gel turned to cream, her pussy now covered in white, with the exception of the point of entry. Wetness prevented the opening from being covered, the wetness was flowing out of her.

I picked up the new razor, smiling at her, I placed the razor on her abdomen, moving across the top her pubic hairs. I could feel slight resistance from the hair that lied beneath. After I moved the razor through the cream, a bare path was left, revealing the clean hairless path underneath. After clearing the path, I placed the razor into the warm cup of water, cleaning my razor, like an artist cleaning his brush.

I continued moved across her abdomen, clearing more of the hair out of my way, methodically exposing more and more skin. I could see her trying to watch, curious to what I was doing, wondering what it looked like herself. The mixture of shaving cream and water obscured her perception. I now began changing the strokes, making sure all of the hair was removed before I began shaving along side her lips. I slid my hand across the shaven area, smooth and shaven, it was now time to move to the more delicate area.

Her lips were slippery, using my fingers, I spread the skin making it taunt, carefully I slid the razor down past the lip. I could tell that each side of the lip was going to take more time than the previous area that I had just shaved. The combination of her wetness, shaving cream and water, made the task more difficult. I continued with down strokes removing most of the hair. Then using my fingers I rubbed the outer lip, feeling for any spots I missed. She giggled with anticipation, I reversed my strokes again, making sure I had not missed anything. Lastly grabbing her ass, spreading it, I shaved the little amount of hair that went to the edge of her anus.

Now starting with her anus, I slowly moved in reverse order to begin the other side. With up strokes I began removing hair from that side of her lips. Fingers holding the skin taunt, creating my new piece of artwork, I continued to shave her. Occasionally a finger would slip into her pussy, causing her to gasp with pleasure. The excite of the experience was creating a waterfall of excitement. Literally dripping wetness was clearing the shaving cream from her ass. Again I changed the stroke pattern, making sure that I had gotten every little hair.

Leaning back I admired what I created, smiling at her, she smiled back. I explained that I was not finished and to hold still. Taking my fingers I exposed her clit, pulling back on the hood, carefully shaving around the most sensitive area, she looked worried, trusting me completely. Again changing direction, making sure that I had not missed anything, my fingers ran around the area, she gasped with excitement as I rubbed over her clit. I then told her that I believed that I was finished. I asked her to feel herself, checking to see if I had missed anything.

I enjoyed watching her run her fingers of the exposed skin. The look on her face was amazing, disbelief mixed with excitement. After a minute of close inspection she told me I had done a fine job. Her hand still stroking the new hair cut, I took the cup of warm water from her other hand. I walked into the bathroom, disposing of the old water, I replaced it with new clean water. Taking it back, I sat next to her, her hand still rubbing her pussy.

I took my fingers, dipping them into the cup, I took them out, dropping water across her abdomen. Rinsing off the residue of shaving cream, now exposing the new look. Her pussy looked amazing, sexy and edible. After rinsing I took the towel and completely wiped her abdomen and lips, making sure she was completely dry. Cleaning up my mess, she asked me not to go to far. I explained to her there were no worries of me going to far. I returned my items to the bathroom, returning back to her side I brought a handheld mirror.

Handing it to her, she placed it between her legs, starring at it as she smiled. Using her fingers she manipulated her lips, taking it all in, happy with the results. Looking at me she placed the mirror on the bed " Climb on, I want to try it out" she said.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Kissing her turned me on!

As we lie there in bed, our mouths touching, her warm breath on my lips. Her moist tongue dancing around mine, I could feel her excitement building. As we explored each other’s mouths, I would occasionally take her bottom lip between my teeth, slightly biting, dragging my teeth over the lip as I pulled away. My hand on her cheek, thumb by her lips, holding her in place. Slowly my hand slides into her hair, grabbing it by the roots.

Kissing her was magical, both of us working ourselves to maximum arousal. I could feel my cock dripping with pre-cum, pressing against her leg. As my hand pulled at the roots of her hair, she moaned, taking her breath away. Kissing her more, I felt as if I was breathing life into her. Her back would arch, wanting to be touched more, wanting me to manipulate her into an orgasmic frenzy.

I released my tight hold on her hair, running my hand down her neck. My hand lightly brushing the side of her face, my lips still touching hers, slowly I slid my hand down. Feeling her collar bone, outlining it with my fingers, I pull my mouth from her lips, tasting the sweet perfume on her neck. My mouth now following the tracing of my fingers. Moving slowly, I slowly nibble down her neck to the collar bone, her hand now on my head, as if she was pushing me down.

My hand now touching her small breast, nipple erect, rising from her body. The skin around the nipple hard and rigid surrounded by soft beautiful skin, the texture as soft as satin. My hand continued downward exploring further. My mouth found its way to her nipple, placing it in my mouth. Circling my tongue around the nipple, warming it, and then releasing it, blowing my warm breath over it. Enjoying her reaction, deep breaths, and gasps of enjoyment. I quickly take her breast completely in my mouth. Like her lips the taste was so unique, the texture in my mouth so different. A combination of running her nipple along the roof of my mouth, followed with circular motions, then as I finished, I slowly dragged the nipple through my teeth, slightly biting, exposing all of her nerve endings.

While my mouth explores her breasts, my hand is now between her legs. Her pelvis as smooth as her breasts, shaved, well taken care of. As my fingers reach her lips, the wetness is overflowing, wetness surrounds her lips. I lift my head briefly, I can see the skin, glistening with wetness, overjoyed and amazed I continue to push her further. She spreads her legs, inviting me to touch her more, I lightly touch her, bringing my finger back to my mouth, tasting her juices. Looking at her smiling, expressing my pleasure, she is biting her lip, wanting me to continue.

Withdrawing my finger from my mouth, my hand touches her hip, outlining her hip bone, working my way down her thigh. She was hoping that my hand would find its way back to her lips, as she maneuvered her pelvis towards my hand. Teasing her more, I guided my fingers lightly back up to abdomen, I could feel her frustration through her reactions. Truly enjoying the torture in which I was giving, knowing that I was going to fulfill all of her expectations.

Her hands now on my back and shoulder, trying to direct my every move, wanting me to finish what I had started, I lifted my head bringing my lips back to hers. Kissing her again, the passion building greatly as she pulled me onto her, expressing her want for me, her mouth now aggressive with mine. As I pull away this time, I smile as she says “FUCK ME”, begging, wanting me inside her. Instead, I place my knees next to her hip, turning away, my back now facing her, my ass within hands reach. As I lean down towards her legs, I spread them wide, and then placing a hand under each cheek, I spread her even more. Leaning over, I can smell the wetness coming from between her legs, a sweet yet fresh arousal.

I begin kissing just above her lips, softly, then with my tongue, in one motion, starting at the top and working my way to her ass. Lapping up the juices along the right side, she gasped with pleasure. Her taste was fresh and plentiful, I have always appreciated how she tastes, and I slowly raised myself up. Now beginning on the left side, I replicated the same motion from top to bottom, lapping up her remaining juices.

I began slowly, however, I found myself now wanting to make her cum. Feeling her hand on my ass, then working its way to my sack, a few strokes of my cock and I wanted her bad. The way her hand was touching me, caused me to leak more fluid, she felt it, exciting her even more. My mouth now concentrating on her clit, my fingers massaging along the sides of her vagina, her wetness made them glide smoothly over her skin.

I could feel her body begin to get close, her pelvis pressing up against my face. Her hand had become motionless while she began to concentrate. I quickly lubed a finger, placing it over her anus, now circling her hole. Adding a slight pressure, then back up to the lips, and then back again to her anus. My tongue was now darting and circling her clit, I feel her press on my anus, so I gently slide my finger in hers.

The walls were smooth and tight, wrapping my finger, squeezing it like I had never felt before. Now with one finger in her ass, I slid my thumb into her pussy. She gasped with pleasure, her back arched, I knew this could make her cum. Being double jointed, I could manipulate my thumb towards her g-spot, while moving my other finger in her ass. I could feel her fingers begin to dig into my ass cheek, the grip was getting stronger, I heard her begin to say “FUCK ME HARDER”.

Now with both fingers I begin to move them in and out, finger fucking her harder and harder. The webs of my fingers ramming her ass and vagina, my hand striking so hard, the webs in my fingers began to hurt. Then without notice, I could feel her ass clamp down on my finger, she screeched out a pleasurable release. Her body shook, wetness flowed from her vagina, and I began lapping up as much as I could.
She began slapping my ass, asking me to stop, the pleasure was so strong, and she could no longer handle the intense pleasure. Squeezing me with her legs, forcing me to retreat, I pulled my mouth from her lips. Breathless she lie there, grasping for words, I smiled, knowing she was happy.

I slowly climbed up next to her, draped my leg over her body, touching the side of her face. Our eyes met, she leaned into me for a kiss, wary to taste her own juices. Then without hesitation her lips met mine again, tasting herself, turning me on even more. As our lips withdrew, she sucked my lower lip like I had done to her. Our foreheads came together, gazing into each other’s eyes, a smile, laughter, happiness, she got what she deserved.

Monday, November 8, 2010

My Funeral

Attending several funerals during my lifetime, I have reached a point in my life where I have written down or discussed details that I want to have at mine. Now in my situation, I have a couple of scenarios, basically whether I am killed in the line of duty or if it were happen at another time.

Thinking about it happening on the job certainly gives a whole different perspective of the ceremony and events that would transpire. I don't know if there isn't a firefighter that hasn't pictured themselves, being the one buried, at another's funeral. Especially when a line of duty death has occured. We can all picture our own families, as we watch others go through the experience.

I have pictured my body in the casket, riding on a fire engine, the folding of the American flag, the flag being handed to my family. I have pictured my children's faces, tears flowing from their eyes. I can also see my family react as the bagpipers play Amazing Grace, then being handed my helmet. The final salute of white gloves, paying tribute to a fallen brother.

A common thread, at firefighter funerals, the Chief officer's are quick to seperate the Chiefs from the other ranks. My funeral, I want rank exempt, everyone is equal, no one and I mean no one, is more important because of their rank. Everyone is intermixed with one another, standing shoulder to shoulder. It is about brotherhood, not titles.

The fact of the matter is, if my life is cut short, firefighter's will be present. How I die, clarifies the magnitude of the event. I just want people to remember, my service is not for me, its for my family. They are the one's left, mourning, alone, needing to know that people care.

I told my wife the other day, if there is one thing they could do, something that really resonates my personality. Live music, hell have a band there, celebrate, share stories, listen to some of my favorite songs. Have the bagpipers jump in with the band, letting loose, using their music creativity. Smile, laugh, shake your head, whatever you wish, know that I enjoyed life.

Now I also realize that my body can only be on a fire engine in the event that I am a line of duty death. That is how I want it, if my death occurs off duty, have the fire engine lead the hearse. If at all possible, I would love the pipers and drums to lead me into the Cemetary. A slow march until I am brought to my final resting place.Then near the end, after all is said and done, the sole bagpiper playing amazing graze, followed by the whole band, then the solo piper playing as they walk off into the distance.

I understand that some of these requests and wishes won't be followed through. Again it not about me, but, if were up to me. This is how I would celebrate my life.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

This part of the job sucks!

My shift at the firehouse begins at 0700, usually arriving at 0630, a common courtesy that most fire fighter's honor. By arriving early it ensures that the off going shift gets off on time, letting them return home, some to head off to other jobs, others to get the kids off to school. This morning I had arrived early as usual, placing my gear onto the engine.

Grabbing a cup of coffee I headed to the apparatus floor, the morning ritual between the two shifts, sharing stories and concerns, camaraderie at its best. With laughter and jokes filling the air, I watch and listen, making sure that my crews spirits are high. Many upper management positions are always concerned about the lack of production, my concern is that my crew has its head in the game for the day ahead.

The laughter and talk was stopped by alarm in the station, 6:53am, 46 year old, unconscious and cold to the touch, our district. The address sounded familiar, many guesses were made that it was one of our regulars, a diabetic that we continuously respond too, I saw the name on the computer screen, it was name that I remembered from years ago.

Years ago I had responded to this home, domestic dispute, if you want to call it that. Although I think attempted murder is a much better classification. Knowing the former perpetrator should be out of jail soon, I couldn't help but wonder, if this time they were able complete their previous task. My mind was racing with the what ifs, never quite knowing what were walking into.

Our station is next to a busy intersection, white lines are striped in front, leaving our driveway clear. A typical morning and traffic was backed up, you can see people look as our garage doors open, wondering if we are leaving. As the doors raise it as if we are unveiling the trucks, lights flashing, all of us seat belted in. We slowly exit the station, allowing time for cars to move, a slight touch of the siren, announcing our presence we depart our home.

The address we were going too was only a few blocks away, less than two minutes. Cars pulling to the right, stopping, getting our of our way, as we pass the horns and sirens wailing through the morning air. As quickly as we got up to speed, we had to slow to make our turn. Kids at bus stops waving, wondering where we were going, curious to our call.

A few more blocks and we were there, a boy stood in the yard, jumping up and down, a scared and worried look on his face. I instantly knew this wasn't going to be good, my driver brought our engine to a halt. The ambulance directly behind us, parked near our bumper, my crew joined the ambulance, grabbing equipment to bring into the residence.

As the officer, I walked toward the boy, leading me into the home, mumbling hysterically. I could of swore he said, I think he might be dead, I was hoping that he didn't say that. As I walked through the door, I knew the boy knew his father was dead, hoping that we could do something to fix him. Looking at my crew, they knew my look, they surrounded the patient. I quickly gathered the boy and his grandmother, taking them into the kitchen, out of sight.

I began getting information, knowing that this was not a good situation, doing everything in my power to keep this boy from being next to his father. Besides himself, he could not contain his energy, rightfully so. I already knew that I was going to have to tell this family that their loved one was gone and there was nothing we could do.

As I kept the family detained, I began to ache, this boy was all of 11 or 12. Only a couple years older than mine, this call was beginning to hit home. Watching this boy scream and cry, then with a flip of a switch, helpful with information and so grown up. It was a roller coaster of emotions this boy was experiencing, I could see his pain, I could see he was scared, I knew he was now fatherless.

Trying to make conversation, I asked if he had sisters, he informed me that he did, but they chose to live with his mother who is now out of jail. "She didn't want me" he said, followed by "That's a good thing though." I could see he was at peace with that, but it did bother him as well, now tears were down his face again. Pacing and scared, crying then screaming, his grandmother now hugging him, pulls him closer to the recliner. She grabs a blanket and offers to snuggle him, now he is on her lap.

He can barely sit still, now worried that he is going to miss school. Telling me that he loves going to school, worrying that he will be in trouble for missing today. I explained to him that today he could miss school, today you need to be with grandma. My eyes are beginning to tear, I desperately trying to hold my composure, it was not working. I then explained that I was going into the other room to check on things.

As I walked through the hallway, I could see the guys had already covered the body. They were talking to the hospital on the phone, confirming the mans death. A standard procedure that we must do. I could see the guys were taxed by the situation, knowing that I was dealing with the worst. I looked at them, turned around and went back to the boy and his grandmother.

As I entered the room, the boy looked at me hopefully, I don't even remember what he was saying. His mouth moving, the words I was not hearing, all I heard was "Are you taking him to the hospital?" I got down on one knee, right in front of him and his grandmother. Without hesitation, I knew what must be done.

So this is what I said " The firefighters put him on the heart monitor, his heart is not moving, he is not alive anymore, there is nothing that we can do to help him!" Listening to my every word, hoping that I would say something different. Tears were now flowing from my eyes. Suddenly the boy was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO.......Then he was climbing off of his grandmother. Like an animal out of a cage, dancing in place, I opened my arms and offered a hug. The boy jumped into my arms for the embrace.

I want to see my dad, can I see my dad, he was asking. Of course I replied, so together we headed back down the hallway. The guys looked horrified that they were now going to have to watch this boy, all wondering what he was going to do. I told the guys to pull the sheet down for this boy, exposing his fathers face. I could see he was unsure what to do.

Then he lowered himself next to his dad, "Dad, we are praying for you, were praying for you dad, dad were praying for you" He kept repeating this several times, unsure how many times he said it. My eyes were teared up, such a horrible thing this boy was experiencing. I then interrupted him, telling him it was OK to kiss his dad if he wanted. So gingerly he leaned over, kissing his dad on the cheek. "I love you dad" he said one more time. With the kiss he walked back to his grandmothers arms, she pulled him in close.

They returned to the other room, the police called for the corner, our job was done. Knowing the police were doing their job, a standard death investigation. Pictures, statements, their normal routine. My concern was for the welfare of the kid, I suggest that they contact social services, and the officer agreed. So I returned to the room, the boy crying on his grandmas lap. Feeling horrible, I also felt the need to keep them informed. I explained to them that our job was done, we were going to leave, the police were going to stay. The coroner would come and they would decide what the next step would be.

The boy stopped crying, you are not taking him the hospital? He asked again, no I said, there is nothing that we can do. Then I explained everything to him again, nodding as if he understood. Wiping the tears from his face, he climbed off of his grandmas lap one more time. Standing in front of me, we hugged one more time, as we ended our hug, he reached out with his right hand, shaking mine, thanking me for everything we did.

My heart dropped, this young man had lost his father and now, he was thanking me for something that I couldn't do. I was amazed at this young mans strength. I explained that I was leaving, I was sorry for their loss. I turned, walking down the hallway, past the father, acknowledging the officers, then out through the door.

As I climbed back into the engine, the guys were silent. They knew I was hurting too, my engineer turned to me, waiting for me to make eye contact, finally I looked. My eyes were welled up with tears again, "Thanks, for doing the tough part" that's all he said, releasing the air brake, we headed back to the station. All you could hear was the moaning of the diesel engine, finding our way back home.