Wow...Thanks Jen

My good friend at *Just Jen* gave me this award. A special thanks goes out to her, I am just enjoying my time here, thanks Jen!

My Expressions Live~ Thank you for visiting. My thoughts and expressions are put here in words for you to digest. I hope you find "My Expressions Live" a break from your normal daily life. Many of my thoughts and expressions are random daily thoughts the intermingle with my daily life. I am fortunate to be exposed to many different walks of life. I enjoy looking deep into my life and those that I share it with. Then taking those thoughts and sharing them with you. Thanks for visiting!

I am suppose to list 7 things that I am greatful for

1. My Wife~ She is the true inspiration to why I write, long story short, the only reason I began writing. I was angry at her, trying to prove her wrong about how writing makes you feel. So here I am...Love you Honey!

2. Family~ My family inspires me. Enough said.

3. Firefighting/Paramedic~ Yeah thats my job, may the life and death experiances I share, bring you insight, hope, courage and respect for others.

4. My Followers~ You all inspire me, wondering where your from, who you are, only 1% ever comment. I would love for those who have never commented, just to say hello.

5. Biz~ Eaton Bennett between her and my wife, the first two followers, giving me hope and inspiration to write. Thanks my dear!

6. Humility~ If it weren't for my own actions, I would have never found a sense of my own unworthiness through imperfection and sinfulness. Humility also inspires me to write what you read.

7. Beauty~ That we find the beauty in all things, especially women! :)

Thanks Jen......

I give this award to number 5!

Please take a moment of silence for all of the fallen fire and police officers that have died in the line of duty. Thanks!

1. Have you ever sent or recieved a sext message?
No I haven't....I hardly ever text.....why text when you can call?

2. Have you ever made or recieved a booty call?
Yes......sometimes thats all you need!

3. Have you ever added or edited a word/entry to Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary or any other online reference?
No reason to...

4. At what age did you have your first consensual sexual experience?
It was at age 14....not one of my prouder moments....but it happend!

5. What has been the greatest age difference between you a consensual sexual partner?
Geeze....I want to say five or six years......I think thats right.

Bonus (as in optional): Why do you blog?
I primarly blog because it is a good way to expose yourself in way so that you can still remain private amoungst friends. Being able to write and speak openly here, especially in my line of work. Public service, mentor in a community, I am able to have free expression without sterotypes or ramifications. I push limits with people in public, but, not like I do here.

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It will be ok

I remember as if it were in slow motion, the car coming at me. It crossed the center lane, I could feel the impact before it hit me. I thought about the pain, you , the kids. Amazingly it didn't hurt, it was quick, like a switch, the light was turned off.

I then remember, watching as the paramedics and firemen cut the car, watching from above. Police officers circling, writing down the license plate. I wanted to tell them what happened, but I couldn't, just like I want to tell you, but I can't. Looking down I watched, it took them awhile, finally one of them said it was too late, I was already gone.

All the times I wanted to hold you and I didn't, I want those times back. I want every precious moment with you, its too late. Maybe I should have made better choices, turned the car out of the way. If maybe I accelerated, I could have avoided being struck. All I know is that I was struck and killed. Leaving you with emptiness, leaving you alone, leaving you with children.

It will be OK, you are strong, you are good, you are amazingly beautiful and life will go on. Just remember I loved you, with all my heart.

~The Cost of Infidelity~

Like an alcholic, infidelity is intoxicating. Slowly it takes a life of its own, hiding, sneaking, covering up, never admitting to what your doing. People around you begin to notice, our behaviour slightly changing, we never notice. Those around us, watch, they know that something is going on.

Our family at home also notice the changes that are going on. Watching and waiting, trying to figure out the situation. Suspecting and worried, they begin searching, looking for the hidden bottle of poison. We feel as if they don't know, we feel that we are hiding it well.

Suddenly they find out, consequences follow, permanent scars exist, never letting us forget. We feel like victims, wanting others to listen, hoping they will tell us that we are right. The truth is that we were wrong, leaving those that stood beside us with insecurities. The intoxicating high is gone, we convulse as we try to dry out. Crying because our drink spilled, exposing our disease.

Our family sticking by our side, waiting and hoping for our return. They are hurt and torn, wondering where they went wrong. Thinking that they were the reason for our disease. Hoping that we are cured, feeling the pain, they want us back. The person that they fell in love with, the person they felt loved by, the person they gave their heart to. They trusted us, confiding us, choosing to make a family.

We betray their trust, addicted to infidelity. Like a cancer it eats away at them as well, everyday they are reminded of our dishonesty. Hoping that our cancer never returns, knowing that there is that chance. A chance that they are willing to take, they are intoxcicated with us. Intoxicated with love, love that they are unwilling to share.

Boudoir Photography

It was a peaceful night at work, I called home to tell her about this woman that had visited the station. I explained to her that this woman asked me some odd questions, including taking photographs, wanting to meet me for coffee the next morning. My wife asked me to be home around nine, she agreed. A bit excited I rode towards the local Starbucks, daydreaming along the way, wondering about this lady Crystal. It always amazed me how people could relate with me, laid back, easy going, I think I just made people feel comfortable. Never speaking above them, speaking at their level, showing my human side, someone that people can relate with. It is important being yourself. So many people come off being fake, never letting others see their true colors. My colors always show right through the situation, like a open book for all to read.

I pulled into the Starbucks, she was waiting on the couch, just inside. I parked the Harley, taking off my helmet and jacket, placing them on the bike. The rumble of the bike made those inside look, including her, as she looked up, she smiled, I smiled back. She was dressed in workout clothing, cute as a button, pink cubs hat with her ponytail pulled through. Grey spandex pants, showing the line of her legs, white cubs shirt, grey workout jacket. Sipping her coffee, she reached out with her hand greeting me as I walked in. I happily greeted her, asking her if she been waiting long, she informed me about five minutes. " I bought you a white mocha, is that OK?" She knew me well, she knew exactly what I liked to drink. "Thats fine" I told her while I sat next to her.

The conversation was enlightening and friendly, we also discussed photography. She told me how her husband would always show her photos of other women, how attracted he was to amateur photography. I explained to her that photography was a hobby for me, I had never taken boudoir photos before, however, that is something that I always wanted to do. She then asked me if she could take photos in my fire gear. A bit leery I explained that I would not be able to take photos with my name or the department name visible. She agreed, she wanted photos of her in the jacket wide open, with the straps from the pants covering her nipples. She had also bought a couple of other outfits that she wanted to wear for the shoot. I informed her that I would probably bring my wife with, also explaining that this would have to be OK with my wife. She accepted the offer and understood my concerns. She asked if I could come over that afternoon, I told her that I would check at home and see if we could do it that day.

Finishing my coffee, we left the coffee shop together, still conversing into the parking lot. She came over by the bike and admired her beauty. I began to get dressed while talking with her, she asked if I ever gave rides. She curiously smiled at me when asking that question, I told her, "only with my wife's approval." " What are the chances of that " she asked. I explained to her that if my wife thought that she was genuine with no hidden agenda's, I don't think she would mind. She liked that I was considerate of my wife, I also explained that I share everything with my wife, there is no hiding anything from her.

So I fired up the bike saying goodbye over the rumble, I rode home, enjoying the smell of the early morning air. As I got home, I fixed another pot of coffee, my wife and I sat down. Discussed the mornings conversation. She was amazed that Crystal confided in me, wanting me to see her dressed so scantly. She had lots of questions about Crystal, I explained that she would be going with me for the photo shoot, however, if she was uncomfortable, I would not do the shoot. We talked for about an hour, telling her everything Crystal had told me, she agreed to join me that afternoon. I called Crystal and asked if two o'clock would be good for her, I also informed her that my wife would be joining me, she would be able to help her with costumes if she needed.

We left the house about one thirty, driving to the firehouse first, stopping to get my gear. I quickly ran into the office and grabbed the Ptouch machine, quickly typing in Fire Dept. Fortunately the fire truck was out on a call, no one to ask me what I was up too. Grabbing my gear, we quickly left the firehouse, driving towards Crystals home. I gave my wife the helmet, asking her to put the Fire Dept. label over the department name. Ensuring that the department name was covered. Fifteen minutes later we had arrived at Crystals gated community, the security guard asking who we were visiting. He rang the house, with her approval, he opened the gate, allowing us to drive to the home. The home was beautiful, I had been in these homes on calls, many of them well over $500,000, probably closer to a million.

My wife and I parked the Jeep, opened the back, grabbing my camera and case of lighting. My wife grabbed the laptop computer, I wanted to load and touch up photo's so that she could see them. This would help us save time, having her proof them right after shooting them. Mary and Crystal hit it off right away, very comfortable with each other, both chatting while I set up the equipment. Crystal showed me to the master bedroom, where I set up the lighting, positioning everything the way I needed it. I then ran back out to the car for my fire gear. I advised Crystal that we would do the outfits first, then then the fire gear, the helmet would probably mess up her hair, however, that would add to those shots.

The shoots went very well, she looked absolutely stunning. Sexy lingerie, black lace, thigh high stockings, the way the outfits highlighted her tan skin. My wife even found her to look absolutely amazing, very adorable she thought. Finally it was time for the photo that Crystal so desperately wanted, I pulled out the fire gear. Lying it on the floor getting it prepared, she walked out of the bathroom in those sexy black lace boys briefs, with slight pink trim to them. Hands over her nipples, trying to be discreet, she came by me, telling me how exciting this was for her. Using my shoulder, she balanced herself, stepping into the pants, bending over her perky 36b breasts had that sexy look to them. Making me want to touch them, looking at my wife, she was giving me that eye, knowing exactly what I was thinking. Crystal pulled the pants up, strategically placing the straps over her nipples. I took the coat off of the floor, holding it for her as she placed her arms in the sleeves. Several poses later, Crystal bubbling with happiness, was satisfied with all that we had done. It had been about an hour and half. We need to go through and pick the pictures of her choice. It was time to help her disrobe from the fire gear. Leaving it smelling better than we started.

Dressed in a bath robe we sat at the table, Mary on my left, Crystal on my right. Staring at the computer, clicking and manipulating pictures. I felt as if I had taken beautiful pictures like these for a lifetime. She looked absolutely amazing, her tan skin, appropriate outfits, as if she had modeled for a lifetime. Finally we came to the bunker gear photos, my gear had never looked so good, I could look at my gear like this any day. It was time to go home and experiment with Mary in my gear. She would make it look even sexier. I even made suggestions to this as we proofed the remainder of the photos. Finally we were finished and I began loading the car, Crystal and Mary chatted away with laughter. As we walked to the car the girls discussed coffee. Both had made new friends that day, friends that continue today. I on the other hand, have enjoyed my new hobby, boudoir photography.

~Females in fire gear~

It is amazing to me, how many women talk to me like I am their husband or significant other. It seems to me, that many women feel comfortable talking to me, not afraid to share themselves intimately. Sharing things that only those close to them should know, however, they tell me that they could never speak with that special someone like they speak with me. I do feel privileged in many ways, that purely strange women, feel so comfortable with me.


It began one day during a fire station tour, the firehouse doorbell rang, there stood a very adorable mom and her two daughters. They were driving by and saw that the doors were open and that we were in the house. Her daughters had been asking to stop or so she says. Holding the door open, I welcome them into the fire station. Like most men, I looked at her ring finger, yes their was a significant diamond, shiny, standing out on her slightly tanned skin.

The tour began as usual, asking the girls what grade they were in, asking if they remember me from speaking at their school. I am the department representative for the schools, how scary is that? So I continue on with the girls and invite them to see where we live, most parents are equally amazed that we allow them to enter into our firefighting lives. We are proud of jobs, willing to share, exposing a side of us that is not normally seen. I start off showing the girls the offices, explaining to them the importance of doing well in school. When they become grown ups they too may have to do reports, testify to judges, be professional. The parents love how we emphasize the importance of schools.

Next we head down the hallway, seeing the day room, otherwise known as the family room of the firehouse. Six lazy Boy's circle the room, flat panel tv in the corner. Explaining that we don't just sit around, how many times the tv does not get turned on until the 10pm news. Describing different situations and times where we too busy to enjoy the comforts of home. Adjacent to the day room, through the french doors lies the kitchen. Extremely large kitchen where we cook, three refrigerators line the north wall. Explaining our shifts of 24 on and 48 off, relating to them that we are three different families living in the same house. Each needing our own fridge for leftovers, condiments, other cooking items, hoping that the others do not borrow too much from us. Most times than not, the parents are asking questions, totally encompassed by the jobs and people that we are.

Finally we walk down the hall again, to the bunk rooms, each firefighter having his own bedroom of sorts. Rooms separated by seven foot wall, then open to the ceiling. Enough privacy so that you can sleep in your boxers, even though, policy states you should be in gym shorts. The only time guys sleep according to policy, is when they are on shift with a female. Respectfully accommodating the opposite sex, even when they say they are just one of the guys. It is always then when the tour always hears from my co-workers, knowing that the moms are annoyed by snoring, they try to knock me down a bit, knowing that the moms are drawn to my talks. Explaining that with my snoring, no one ever gets to sleep, so I further explain that it is not my snoring that keeps them away, its simply that they can not sleep because they miss their families so much.

That ends the tour of the house portion and we continue out to the fire trucks, everyone is excited to see the trucks, even the parents. There is even a certain smell of the firehouse, the smell of water, musty hoses, a slight smell of smoke permeates the apparatus floor. Much discussion is always had about the equipment. Parents are curious to response to calls and someone always asks "Whats the worst call that you were always on" My reply is always about the best call that I had, delivering a baby on the bathroom floor at 4:24 am. Do people really want to hear about death and destruction, I think not, so I try to reply positively. If they keep pushing, I tell them about the five year old that we pulled out dead many years ago. Or I simply ask " You really don't want to know do you" they usually get the hint.

On this particular tour I asked if the girls if they wanted to stand in my fire gear, since mom had a camera. The fact that I was attracted to her had nothing to do with it, that's my story and I am sticking to it. Excitedly the girls who were best friends, nine years old, absolutely ecstatic about dressing up. One by one with giggles slipped off their shoes, put the pants on, pulling them up, ten sizes too big, I then help put my jacket on them. Making sure that they don't fall over from the weight of my gear. Smiling from ear to ear they both enjoy being like me. Finally I ask mom if she is going to dress in my gear as well. Reluctantly she was saying she shouldn't, knowing that she wanted too, the girls encouraged her. With the girls helping the situation, she too dressed up, making my gear look the sexiest that it had looked in days. I took the picture for her, explaining how I loved taking photos, a hobby of mine. I even asked her to strike a pose or two, handing her an axe, helping her enjoy her experience. She left my gear smelling better than the musty smoke odor that it normally smelled. It left the rest of my day quite enjoyable every time I had to gear up.

After about an hour and much thanks the mom and girls left. As they left the mom shook my hand and smiled very willingly at me. Then she asked for my card, stating she may have a couple questions for me. I handed her a card from my wallet, telling them to enjoy the day, thanking them for stopping by. The door barely closed when the other guys came from the offices, telling me that my wife was going to kick my ass. I said why would she do that, it was only a tour. Shaking their heads the badgering continued throughout the rest of the day.

Later in the day I received an email from the mom, I never told the guys or my wife. In the email the mom graciously thanked me for the thorough tour. Telling me how much she had learned about the fire department. Leaving me her phone number, asking me to call, giving me times to call between, that is when I became a bit suspicious and a bit apprehensive. This did not stop me though, like most men, I was intrigued. Calling between the times she had given me we talked for about thirty minutes. Answering many questions that she had, including her talking about her personal life, her marriage, finally the big question entered the conversation.

She explained to me how much fun it was to dress up in my fire gear, she felt like a little kid. I told her that she may have felt that way, however, she looked beautiful in it, kids look cute. That is when our conversation changed slightly. The tone of the conversation became slightly flirtatious, small innuendos were being made, finally she asked me something that I have been wanting to do at home, something that my wife has never done. She asked if she could do boudoir photo's in my gear. I explained to her that I couldn't just loan out my gear, she began to laugh at me. She reminded me that I said I liked taking pictures, hinting towards a fun filled afternoon.

I told her that I was going to have to think about this, intrigued but cautious. We agreed that we should met for coffee, discussing the details much further. She ended the conversation that day, telling me how excited this made her, she had been wanting to experiment with boudoir photography herself. Explaining that she felt very comfortable with a man like me, someone else that was willing to experiment, a trustworthy fireman. I told her that I too was willing to experiment, however, lets talk more when I am not at work. She agreed, making a morning coffee date for when I got off work the next day. I am looking forward to report my findings.

13 sex toys for men

1-Black Orchid Masturbater- Wow....who would have ever thought! I may have to invest into some of these toys. Here I have been using my hands for 30 years.

2-Dual Beaded Vagina- Holy geeze Batman, lined with beads this thing is suppose to be very enjoyable. Who knew that I could find 13 toys for men.


3-Travel Pussy- So I guess if your boy is going on a trip, send him with the travel pussy. Maybe this will stop his urge of bringing someone back to the hotel. Just don't put it in his carry on. Although that would be fun, see the TSA scanning and laughing.

4- Realistic Titty Blow- I don't know what is so thrilling about the real thing, however, this does not look fun at all.


5- Ass Palm Pal- Anal sex is always fun, its the forbidden fruit, keep saying no and we want to try it. The anus palm pal does look slightly realistic. I dunno....what do you think?

6- Seductive Oral Masturbator- The tounge ring has me in this one, kind of a fantasy, however, the mouth and nose only? I guess its better than holding onto a full size head.

7- Penis Extension- I think this would take away all of my fun. Second, if you need this what is she doing with you, thats why they make the rabbit.

8- Fireman's Pump- I just had to add this one..lol. It is suposed to increase the size of your penis, prolong your erection. Give me a break!

9- Linn Thomas Talking Love Doll- This thing stands 5' 3" tall, for $264 I guess its cheaper than the disease that you would get from a hooker. Who owns one of these?

10- Love Taper Cock Ring- This one I might be willing to try, supposed to prolong your erection, not a problem with that, must be my age. The hanging piece is supposed to create clitorial stimulation by tapping against her. Interesting to say the least!

11- Large Waterproof Anal Beads- This would be great if your trying to stimulate his g-spot.


12- Blue Thunder Butt Plug- This is angled to provide the best pleasure imaginable. When this stunning blue toy is inserted, the angle should drive him wild.

13- Tiffany Minx Pussy- For $120 I could find a better use of the money. Why would anyone spend this kind of money for a piece of rubber. Really can it be that good?

Wordless Wendesday-Firehouse Dalmation and Future Bride

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Sssshhhhh Don't Tell

The music was loud, pyrotechnics filled the air, peoples heads moving to the beat of the music. Stage lights danced across the stage, occasionally dancing across our faces. My wife stood on my left, dancing, smiling, brushing up against me. Loving glances as we would looked at each other, enjoying the show. Now and then kissing, enjoying our time together.

As the crowd became thicker, she moved closer to my front, her right butt cheek was near my pelvis. Occasionally moving to the music she would rub against me, then turning, smiling, letting me know what she had felt. People all around us, little touches and rubs, we began to feel a bit frisky. During the concert I would slip my hands into her front pockets, knowing that this would help set the mood for the limo ride home.

The screams from the women behind me and to the right, were almost deafening. Beer from their glasses sloshed onto the people around them, they clearly had enough to drink. Singing to all the songs, enjoying themselves, my wife and I would scream to each other about their behavior. Their clothes were minimal, scantly dressed to my liking, occasionally bumping into us as we danced.

As the concert continued the fog in the arena thickened. We could feel the bass and the percussion from the drums, causing our clothing to vibrate on our skin. Still dancing, enjoying ourselves, that is when I felt a hand brush across my ass. Turning to look the girls next to me kiss, making sure that I see, immediately I felt the blood rush to my cock, slightly thickening. The music seemed muffled for a moment, as their kiss ended they looked at me and smiled. I had thought the hand brushing across my ass was only someone bumping into me.

Then it was the small of my back, a slight brushing against my shirt. It was then that I realized that these were now intentional occurrences to touch me. My wife standing next me, enjoying our time together, I began to enjoy the touch of the girl as well. Positioning myself so that the girl could touch me more easily, so that my wife would not see. Arousing the girl even more, allowing her sneak around, going unnoticed, her existence never crossing my wife's mind. I pretended as if I were trying to protect my wife from these obnoxious out of control women.

Understanding my actions, the girl took control of the situation, allowing me to enjoy the concert a bit more. She knew I was married and made sure not to get me into trouble. I felt her hand on my side, starting at my hip, slowly sliding up my untucked shirt. Reaching up to my chest, slowly using her nails, she lowered her hand to my waist. My abdominals tightened, leaving my jeans slightly gaped open. Her hand had access to my cock. Slowly she lowered her hand past my waist, pulling herself up against me. She slowly reached down, grabbing me, stroking me, giving me chills of pleasure. Her had was soft, a bit cold, refreshing against my hot skin.

I placed my hands on my wife's shoulders, making sure she would not turn around. Repositioning myself, I left my right hand on her shoulder. The girl then took my left hand, guiding it to her body. We both were pushing our limits, enjoying each others touch. Raising my hand, helping me find her waist line. Her skin was soft, the waist of her jeans was loose, easily accessible. My hand slowly slid down, the smooth skin continued until my fingers reached the wetness. As her body danced, she pushed her clit against my fingers. Her hand still in my pants, stroking me hard, her grip was firm. My fingers flicked across her clit, as her body moved more quickly. Suddenly her hand stopped, squeezing me hard, reaching that pain pleasure threshold. I felt her body shake, leaning on me as she came. Unable to hold herself up, using me as support, my hand was soaked.

Leaning forward she whispered into my ear, thanking me for her pleasure. Smiling she placed her hand on my back, holding her friends hand, they pushed their way through the crowd. Finding their way closer to the stage, smiling as she glanced back at me, truly enjoying her evening. Placing my hand in my pocket, drying my hand, I then returned my full attention to my wife. Thoroughly enjoying the rest of my evening, looking forward to the limo ride home.

~ Sexy Women of CBS Survivor ~

As a fan of several reality television shows, I particularly enjoy two shows, Survivor and Amazing Race. Survivor has had some amazingly beautiful women on their show, many launching their celebrity career after the show. So I have include 13 sexy women, some with attitudes, however they are beautiful women. So enjoy the list that I have compiled. Happy TT!Pavarti Shallow-Season 13Alexis Jones-Survivor 16 Amber Brkich - Season 2 and All-StarsCorrin Kaplan - Season 17- Eliza Orlins - Season 16Erin Lobdell - Season 18 (current)

Jenna Lewis - Season 1-Jessica "Flicka" Smith - Season 13Jessie Commacho - Season 3Stephanie LaGrossa - Season 10Michelle Chase - Season 17 Julie Berry - Season 9

Jaquie Berg - Season 17

For more Thursday 13 Click Here!

~Wordless Wednesday~ Dragon Tattoo~Sexy~

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TMI Tuesday

1. Don't tell us what it is, but do you have a sexual secret you have never told anyone?

Yes one of the wives at the firehouse told me secrets about her husband. Kind of weird since I am his supervisor. She constantly comes to me to discuss her frustrations, I don't tell him what I know about their sex life either. Although I do share it with my wife, so I guess I told someone.

2. Do you have a nonsexual secret you have never told anyone?

Geeze I am sure there is, however, I can't begin to think of something secret. Although there is this one thing that I think may be a secret.....not sure...and not willing to share....;)

3. Did you ever tell someone a secret only to have them spill it? No

What were the repercussions? Hmmm nothing

4. Did you ever spill a secret someone told you? Nope, every secret has been placed in my top secret vault. I don't consider telling my wife as spilling, we share everything....ok almost everything...lol.

What were the repercussions? None

5. Tell us a secret someone told you, however along ago, that you've never told. (You can disguise name or details)

A friend of mine is HIV positive....never told anyone....its none of their business. I also have had many people tell me things on ambulance calls, that is protected information.

To Get more TMI TUESDAY click HERE

~~Faking It~~

Emails sent, talking back and forth, building trust in the relationship. We had never met, the profile gave it away, one desiring another, while lacking that desire at home. We have the ability to read people, knowing there needs and desires. We are willing and able to push those limits, those boundaries that have been set forth. We love the hunt, making the conquest much more fun. Secret lies, passion, desire, darkness that only they will see. Lust!

In our normal life, we are happily married, with children, never showing our darkness. Faking that we are the all American family. Sometimes faking our happiness while plotting the next conquest, even if it may be while our family is standing beside us. We have a very evil, devious side that they don't see, hypocrites with the people that we love.

We are like a vampires, we feel the presence of the next contestant. Luring in our next victim, we slowly begin the hunt. Those that we hunt are usually married, not happy in their own relationship. We can tell from comments made or their body language, their unhappiness shows. Some are lonely people, looking for lust, not knowing the price they may pay. They find us interesting and we are not afraid to push their limits. Crowding their personal space, slowly sneaking into their emotional space as well. Like vampires building their trust, lurking for our next meal. It is a process, a process that we are willing to wait, patiently, for the right moment to strike.

As the hunger for lust grows, it makes our conquest that much easier. Our contestants begin to lie and deceive those people that they love, making time to spend with us. Our relationships are not real, they lust for that desire to be taken by us, passionately taking them over the edge. Once they experience our lifestyle, they become obsessed with us, spending less quality time at home. They never see the real us, only spending a glimpse of time with us, never seeing our bad, only the good. Therefore, our lifestyle begins to consume them as well, they have been bitten, now they want more.

Slowly and secretly, home begins to suffer, they don't even realize the impact of their decisions. Their thirst for this lifestyle slowly erodes what has taken many years to build. Family begins to accept that love no longer exists, not realizing that the love, has been given to someone else. They are left with emptiness that we do not see, hoping that some day we will return. It is our addiction, the conquest, we need to walk away, leaving that life behind us or nothing will change.

Many of us have walked this path of deep dark secrets, some of us have scars, showing that it once existed. But it is you and I, we have the ability to walk away, returning to the family that awaits for our return. The passion and adventure is waiting for us there, the relationships that we so desire, those conquests are not love. Those relationships that we have created, giving us those dark desirable secrets, is defined by lust. It is not real, false pretenses, false security, fragile relationships that will never withstand the tests of time. As easy as they start, they someday will be gone, a scar will remain as the relationship diminishes.

Living a fake life with those whom we say we love, secret lies, passion and desires. Escaping and replacing our own realities with lust and desire. When those we love find out about our secret life, the consequences will be severe, painful and unbearable. The vampires will leave you with that scar, the scar that will remind us of our past. Our fake life will be fake no more, we will be left with the realities, loneliness, emptiness, as our families move on with their lives. We can no longer be trusted, we are fake in everything that we are.

We have been faking it.

Another Self Portrait Submission

I really like the lighting on this photo, I like how it reveals the shoulder, accenting that side of her body. The photo leaves you looking for more, straining to see whats hiding in the shadows. I also like the camera in the photo, hiding her face, very well done! Again I want to thank those that have submitted photographs, all of you are beautiful women, very sexy and very daring. Thank you for letting me posting and sharing your photos with everyone! xoxox Ric

~~ Nickelback, Seether, Saving Abel~~Thank You Honey~

In January I celebrated my 40th birthday, a day that is nothing more than just another day. I was scheduled to work that historic day at the firehouse. I decided a long time ago that my birthday is no different than any other day. With my job I would love to take off for kids the birthday's or the wife's. It is important for the kids to understand that dad is a firefighter, we work no matter what day it is, we just don't take days off. I am trying to teach life lessons for when they become adults.

If I was scheduled to work, I should work, however, this years was that day that everyone dreads "40". This year was no different, I woke at 530 showered and went into work, not telling anyone that it was my birthday. During lunch one of the guys said " I can't believe your working today!"

They all congratulated me and the day continued on fairly uneventful. The kids humbled me in the morning when they called and sang Happy Birthday over the phone. It was not until I spoke with the wife in the early afternoon that I regretted going to work. It was at that point when I became slightly depressed, not that I turned 40, it was because I chose not to spend the day with someone that I loved. Those feelings were compounded in the evening when the family brought cake, pie and presents. Many birthday's are celebrated at the firehouse, my kids show up and open presents at the firehouse too. Something I am sure that they will always remember, something that they will someday share with their kids.

Well last night I cashed in on my present, the wife and I attended a concert for Nickelback, Saving Abel and Seether. She totally surprised me when she got the tickets, very good seats and excellent show. I totally enjoyed myself, starting with the Limo from the firehouse, 8 of us going decided to share expenses of the limo. We could have a few drinks, relax, escape from rush hour traffic in Chicago. So in light of last nights concert, my music has changed on here, some being a bit more aggressive than before. Much of this music is my inspiration to my writing, sharing thoughts that I have swirling around in my mind. So I hope you enjoy the new venue, it was time for a change. Enjoy your weekend! Be safe! Enjoy! xoxox Ric

Saving Abel- Originated in Corinth, Mississippi. They googled the story of Cain and able, finding the line saying there was no saving Abel. The name stuck and the rest is history, do not confuse these guys, they are not a christian rock band!

Seether- They actually formed in Johannesburg, South Africa, under the name Saron Gas. With the increasing fear of terrorism, they were advised to change their name, becoming Seether. They are post grunge and have a unique talent to play really hard, slowing it down for the verses, occasionally screaming meanwhile we are still able to understand them. Very good band, I would like to see them again.

Nickelback- They are from Hanna,Alberta Canada. Their name was derived from band member Mike Kroeger. He used to work at Starbucks, when giving customers their change back he would say "here is your nickel back" Amazing how one little statement would eventually make his career. If you ever have the chance to get tickets and watch a great show, buy some tickets, you won't regret it!

~Thursday Thirteen~ Submitted Self Portraits

Today I have added Thirteen artistic photos from two of my readers. These two amazingly beautiful women have been taking several photo's of themselves since my request on February 8,2009. So today I give to you these two very sexy ladies. 13 self submitted artistic photo's. Thank you to all of the brave and beautiful women that have submitted photo's. If you keep sending them in, I will keep posting them. Thank you......and enjoy the beauty! xoxoxo Ric




For More Thursday 13 CLICK HERE
Special Note: These readers chose to submit anonymously to my post not wanting to participate in the other HNT site.

~~Wordless Wednesday~~ Body Painted Cubs Girl~~

In light of Spring training and the best team in baseball, I decided to post a woman body painted in Chicago Cubs attire.

For more WW click HERE

TMI TUESDAY

1. Are you pro-marriage? Why or why not?

In my situation I am pro-marriage,however, each person has their own situation. It is whatever works for that couple. If living together works, so be it, who are we to judge. I don't think it should be called marriage, civil union instead. Or we take the marriage license away from the government. It kind of violates that whole church and state thing, don't you think.

2. Have you ever invented or thought you invented a sexual position?

No not really and there is plenty I would love to try, I am just not that flexible. :)

3. Do you like to be tied up? Always or sometimes?

Sometimes is good, change and surprise is always good, usually I am the one doing the tied up thing though.

4. Do you consider online cybering adultery?

Again it depends on the situation and individuals. Everything on here is shared with my wife. Some people have no clue that their spouses blog. In some degree, intentional or not, most of us are guilty of some type of cybering.

5. Do you prefer masturbation over real sex?

Masturbation is a good release, it will never replace real sex. Sometimes you just need to stick it in a warm, wet, tight hole. It is also nice to have a woman's mouth placed over the cock. Again warm wet hole, both types have their advantages too!

6. Do you want sex more times a day than your partner?

I don't know, it varies, we seem to do pretty well after 15yrs together. Granted there are times when the other is a bit more wound up than the other. We compliment each other well. I just have to remember not to jack off three times in one day, saving some for her...lol.

7. Do you get offended when you partner openly flirts with others or are you okay with it?

I must be honest here, she will call me out. I tend to get offended if it is a stranger or someone I don't know. I don't tend to be so offended when it someone I know, however, the guys from the firehouse will openly grab her if given the opportunity. I know she is amazing, but there are limits.

Now when it comes to flirting with women, god, if she did this more often, she would be scraping me off the ceiling. I wouldn't hang out with the guys at a wedding once, she was doing body shots and being very flirty with one of the other wives. I was hard just watching them interact. I get so wound up when she does this, probably why she doesn't do it more often.

8. Do you think you're flirty by nature?

I don't know, if I am flirty or not...lol. I am so horrible, my wife tells everyone that I have no filter. I am one of those people that will push that envelope, blatantly. I know in relation to the above comment, I am the true double edge sword of a husband. I wish I could change, I really do, I trust her completely, it just really bothers me. I am afraid that she will finally realize the fact that she settled for me and move on. How bad is that thought! I know I have some issues in this area, would love to fix them, its hard to retrain an old dog. I do try hard not to act irrational.

To get more TMI TUESDAY CLICK HERE

~~Don't let it be true~~

Flames were blowing out the rear of the home, as I climbed out of my engine, the mother frantically grabbed my arm, telling me of her child trapped inside. Quickly assessing the home, making split second decisions, I turned to my nozzle man and gave him explicit orders. I began to walk around the home assessing for other dangers. People screaming, wondering what we were doing, telling us how to do our jobs as they stood from the sidelines. Like a coach I was sizing up my opponent. Reaching the front door, I slid my mask over my face. Tasting the smoke that took my breath away. I could feel my lungs tighten, my throat closing, it tasted like shit. Black smoke was halfway down the door frame, pushing out with force.

During my size up I could tell the fire was located on the first floor, the smoke was black, we call it black fire. Extremely black smoke is almost to the point of ignition and is extremely dangerous. Water was now in the hose, explaining to my nozzle man, he was going to position himself at the bottom of the stairs, while I went upstairs to the babies room. His job was to protect the stairway, leaving me an out, knowing all to well the child was probably dead at this point.

My mask was completely on, my hood pulled up, helmet on, placing my gloves on. The last thing I did before entering was place my regulator on my mask, allowing me to breathe clean air. Like a team leaving a huddle, we were in action, I couldn't even see my camera screen. It was a lifeline, showing me fire or a body, hell I can even see my pathway with it, but not today. Technology was nothing to the beast, it was way to advanced today. I found myself feeling my way up the stairs. I counted twenty three of them, now to the right, like the mom said it was the second door on the right. Feeling the first door I continued on. Another five feet I found the second door, and it was open as suspected. The smoke had gotten this baby, I knew that, however, now it was about the family, trying even if we knew it was too late. I closed the door behind me, giving me extra time. Feeling my way across the room, I found the crib, standing reaching inside I found its limp body. Taking it into my arms, I went back to the door, opening it I was blasted with heat, then hearing the nozzle man say to evacuate, were losing.

Slamming the door closed, I went back into the room, finding the window, taking my helmet, I smashed through it. Outside the firefighters raised a ladder to rescue me. I could now feel my knees burning, the floor beneath me was on fire, I knew time was of the essence. I heard the ladder hitting the side of the house. Smoke was now thick in the room, being sucked out of the open window, giving the fire more air to breathe. I was on my knees, trying to stay beneath the heat and fire. Grabbing the child I reached up to be greeted by my nozzle man, reaching out to take the child from me. I could barely visualize him the smoke was so intense. I could now feel the heat biting me, becoming unbearable, suddenly the floor collapsed from beneath me. Images of you and the kids raced through my mind as I fell, that is the last I remember.

It has been close to a year since the funeral and I am still with you everyday. Sitting next to you and the kids, unable to touch, unable to comfort, all I can do is watch. I see how lonely you are with out me, I see how badly you hurt. My decisions cost me my life, my family and friends, leaving behind emptiness and broken hearts. Giving my life for a child that was already gone, I thought I could beat the beast that day, I was wrong.

Now I sit here watching you live your life and unable to go on. I am stuck here watching until I know that your going to be alright. In the shadows I sit watching, reaching out, can you feel me? That is what made today so hard, watching you with him. I know your life must go on and he makes you happy. The way he touches you, making you smile, did you smile like that with me, I never noticed. Oh god my heart hurts watching you with him. How I wish it was me that still made you happy, holding you in my arms. What I would give to smell your hair, feel your soft skin. The touch of your hand touching me, feeling your breath on my skin. I never realized how much these things I would miss.

Now it is he who enjoys you this way. Now I feel like I have lost you twice, I am replaced, no longer a presence, I am gone. I am screaming and you can't hear me, it hurts me to watch. I want this to be me, but no it is him. I hear your pleasure, I see you happy, I hear your words.

Then in the faint distance I hear an annoying beeping, failing to recognize the noise, I open my eyes. Looking over its my alarm, I am sweating, heart pounding, angry. I reach over hitting my snooze button. Staring at the time, its 5:20 am. Was this just a dream, I don't even want to touch you, you were just with him. My mind fucking with me, what is my day at work going to bring. Is this some kind of sign, is someone sending me a sign. Jesus Christ, how the hell am I supposed to go to work now. Sweat beaded on my brow, heart still pounding I sit there pondering my dream, driving me crazy I decide to shower.

Now dressed for work, I stand beside the bed watching and wondering. Knowing you have no idea of my dreams, I slowly walk over, kissing you on the lips. You don't move, wondering if you even felt my lips touch yours. Don't let this be true. When I leave, I kiss your lips, telling you I love you. Hoping that my dreams never come true.

~~ Sexy Tattoo Girl and Motorcycle~~

~~ Waking up next to You~~

I started out today, lying next to you in bed. Lying on our right side, snuggled up against each other, the warmth of our bodies, softness of the sheets. Thinking about the day, thinking about the quietness of the house. Listening to see if the kids were awake, taking in the morning calm.

Placing my hand on your bare thigh, I run my hand up to your briefs, feeling your hip bone, I run my fingers slightly into the waist band. Your soft skin, soft like the sheets, my fingers lightly touch you, trying not to wake you. I listen to you breathe, feeling every breath, my senses are keen. I move my had down your waist, up your abdomen, moving them over your breasts. Taking them in my hand, pulling my body closer to yours. Content I hold you close, leg to leg, chest to back, arm wrapped around you.

I feel you begin to move, afraid that I may have awoke you. Then you place your hand on my thigh, touching me softly, your warm soft hand moving slowly up to my briefs. I feel my testicles tingle, they raise slightly in their sack with your touch. Pulling my legs tighter to your body, adjusting your buttocks into my groin. I feel the warm surge of blood to my penis. Slightly growing, pressing into you, I feel you wiggle a little more. Your hand now leaves my side, reaching for your own briefs, pushing them down, your bare ass is now pressed against my boxers. My penis now hardens with excitement. You feel me press harder against you, reaching back into my shorts. Stroking and touching, hoping to wake me, however, I am already awake.

Still listening for our children, not wanting to be caught, I am hesitant. You then push down on my boxers, releasing me from the confinement. Taking me in your hand, guiding me into you, warm and wet with excitement. I slowly slide into you, arching your back, pressing into me more. Your hand on my thigh, rhythmically pulling into you. My hand on your hip, pushing and pulling. The excitement building, explosion happening, we both lie there in ecstasy.

You turn to me and smile, I kiss your soft lips. Our bodies still pressed together as one, similar to our hearts. Taking in our time together, we giggle and talk about the day before us. Knowing our time alone was soon to be interrupted, we decide to rise for the new day. Another soft kiss, tender touch and loving hug, we rise out of bed.

How I love waking up next you!

Friday 5 Self Portrait Submissions ~~ Sexy Women~~

Since I was at the firehouse yesterday, posting 13 beautiful self portraits was next to impossible. So today I decided to call it a Friday 5, an assortment of different woman. They all took it upon themselves to send multiple shots and photos of themselves. Each woman amazingly beautiful, tried different techniques and ideas and sent them bravely. Many of these women expressed to me, how daring this was for them, therapeutic and exhilarating they found themselves taking photo's and sending them to be posted. Thank you for your submissions and please keep those camera's in hand, I love what you all have been sending me. xoxoxo Ric

I really love the necklace in this photo! The base of the neck and cleavage are very sexy, I also like the softness of the skin. Very erotic.

I love the way the panties curve around the butt, very nice butt, perfect angle. It looks as if she may even have stockings on, take note ladies, we like stockings....;)

This photo is very nice to look at as well, I like that we can barely see the camera on the left. Those pink shorts, wow, very nice! As you continue up we follow the line of her back. I also like that we can see her chest, just cropping out the nipples, such a devil to tease like that..:)Ok this sexy woman is just teasing us here, the jewelry follows that beautiful line down, making you stare and her breasts, again cropping the nipples out, teasing, very sexy!Everyone that has been following knows my addiction to tat's. This amazing woman knew how to get my attention, the tattoo definitely made me smile. The combination of her buttocks, small of her back, tattoo and a glimpse of her upper back. Wow....another favorite of mine. Absolutely stunning.

13 Things I love about my wife!

Smile- I love it when she is happy and smiling, so comforting to see her happiness.

Eyes- Looking into her beautiful eyes is like looking into her heart. The way she looks back at me. I love it when her eyes dance with excitement.

Sexy Walk- Every woman has it, I love the way she moves her butt when she is feeling all frisky. Makes me just smile thinking about it.

Attitude- Although sometimes I may not like it, it gives her the spunk that she needs to put up with me.

Communication- I love that we always communicate everything that is going on between us. We have had our moments, however, things work better when we discuss everything between us.

Independent- I like that she is her own person, not relying on me for everything. I like that she is not afraid to do things if I am not around. In fact sometimes we can even get competitive, she hates that I always win.

Touch- I love the way her hands feel against my skin. Always wanting to hold my hand, comforting and loving. I love the way she runs her fingers down my arm. Always wanting me close.

Feet- Yes I love her feet, they are sexy, and then again, what part isn’t sexy about her.

Hair- I love the way it feels in my fingers, I love running my hands up her neck and into her hair. Something sensual the way it feels.

Neck- I love her neck, moving her hair aside, kissing it, savoring its taste.

Mother- She is the mother of our wonderful children, and she is awsome. She gave me the best two gifts of my life. I am fortunate to be so lucky.

Best friend- She has been my best friend for the past 15 years, I hate to admit it, and she was my best friend long before I realized it.

Wife- I love that she is my wife, there are many reasons that I love having her as my wife. The first twelve are only the beginning. There are no words that could ever begin to explain all the things I love about my wife.

Wordless Wendesday~ Self Portrait #5 Red Lace

This is another beautiful women that has submitted pictures for the Self Portrait Challenge. This is one of my absolute favorites. Her hair draping down over the red lace, her shoulders just peeking through! Like all of the models that have submitted photo's, all of you are amazing women. All of you should be proud of how beautiful you are, thanks for participating in the self portrait challenge! Thanks again Ric! xoxoxox

For more Wordless Wendesday click HERE

Portrait Submission #4

I received this photo from another one of my amazing friends. She has a wonderful line to her body and looks absolutely fabulous. I love the way her leg is raised and the small arch in her back. Thank you for participating in the self portrait submission. Very sexy !! :)

TMI TUESDAY !!!!!!

1. Is there a sexual act/position/practice that you were sure in advance you would hate (or never try) and then discovered to your surprise you loved?

Absolutely, that happens with many things that we do in life. You may not think your going to like it, however, all it takes is once and that may be the last time you say no. Just think how many times have you crinkled your nose at tasting a certain food, once you tried it, it has now become one of your favorite things. So if there is something your afraid to try, you must at least attempt it once, who knows it may become one of your favorite positions.

2. Is there a sexual act/position/practice that proved a lot less interesting in practice than you thought it would be beforehand?

Not really, I like trying new things. For men its all enjoyable......;)

3. How do you let your significant other know you're in the mood? How do you let a new person in your life know?

Wait let me ask her. She says I am never .......not in the mood.....:)


4. How does your significant other let you know he/she is in the mood?

She has little smirky smile and this little ' I am horny' walk. It is those times that I am certain she is in the mood. But don't ask me to cuddle on the couch or snuggle if you don't plan on getting some, damn it men hate when girls do that ! OK she just slapped me for that one....lol.

5. Is there one that got away - a sexual opportunity you didn't realise was one at the time, or weren't ready for and regret missing ever since?

No everything happens for a reason, I have no regrets with relationships or people that I meet. Every relationship and friendship has its purpose, it is what we learned for those relationships that makes us who we are today.


More TMI Tuesday HERE