Testing the waters

You were sitting on the couch across the room, the lights were dim, music filled the air. She stood in front of me as I sat on the couch, admiring her beauty. Her skin tanned and soft, waiting to patiently to feel her silkiness. She stood between my legs, slowly removing her clothes, smiling at me, knowing you were watching. Being discreet yet revealing at the same time, using her body to shield your complete view.

Her body moved with the music, slowly and seductively, knowing how to get my attention, she slowly moved in closer to me. She then put her body against mine, telling me that I smelled good, slowly pressing her bare breasts to my chest. The closer she came to me, her perfume raised my senses. Her lips grazed my ear, then my cheek, with that slight moan that makes the hair on your neck slightly raise.

Afraid to touch her, not knowing how you felt, not wanting you to feel insecure. I could feel you watching, wondering what your thoughts were, afraid to touch her. Resisting every temptation in my body, her breasts felt sensual on my cheek. Her skin felt so soft, her touch drawing me in even closer, tempting me, wanting her, wanting you.

She then asked me to touch her, with slight hesitation my hand touched her breast. The ice was broken, my other hand reached out, both of her breasts in my hands. Small, soft, perky, enjoying their feel, wanting to share it with you. My hands then ran down her sides, the hip bones protruding, using the back of my hands, feeling her body. She leans back in enjoyment, smiling at me, showing me her interest. Briefly she looks at you with a smile, checking for your approval, receiving it she leans back into me, pressing against me, feeling my enjoyment. My hands begin to run down her back, sensually touching her shoulder blades. Slowly moving them to her soft ass, slightly squeezing not wanting to let go.

She gives me a small kiss and a whisper in my ear, again goosebumps raise on my neck. The whole experience feeling as if we found natural hot springs. Unsure if the water is safe to enter, we test it first, slowly entering until we are submerged in the pleasurable hot spring.

Pleasure

I sat their and watched you touch her softly, first with hesitation, then I saw your quirky smile. Her hand slightly touching the side your face and down your collar bone then to your breast. Meanwhile she was dancing her body on yours, rhythmic to the music, your bodies rhythmically massaging each other. Her lips on your cheek, softly kissing, your smile showing the excitement. Moving to your breast she pulled back on your top, succulent kissing of your nipple. Her tanned complexion against your white breast. Her soft lips kissing, her wet tongue circling, her eyes looking at you. Running her hair across your chest, each movement making you smile.

As she lifts herself looking into your eyes, she smiles back at you, looking too at your pleasure. You can feel the energy in the room. As if lighting was racing across the sky, waiting for the thunder to rumble. Instead of thunder, it was the smile of pleasure.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just hope its not a train

Today I do feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is the train. So many emotions and feelings racing through my mind. Tears running down my face, filled with sadness, desperately wanting it to be light and not the train.

I have made some choices in life that certainly have not been the correct choices to make, admittedly acknowledging those mistakes. And everyday you are reminded of the wrongs that you have done.

My life has become an open book in many ways, things that I used to keep private, open for viewing. Trying not to leave any doubt that my behavior has changed, however no matter how hard we try to change. Life is what it is today. I am the person that I am, no matter how hard I try to be that better person, I am me.

So right now I am standing on the tracks, feeling the ground rumbling under my feet. I hear the muffled sounds of the engine slowly getting louder. I see the light and it gradually gets brighter. So I stand here with my arms wide open, accepting the fact that I may soon be run over. Images of my life passing me by, wondering what decisions could change the outcome. Wondering if I jump off the tracks now will that train miss me all together. Trying to figure out how to save my self from being another tragedy. Thoughts of my wife and children, how will this affect their lives. So many thoughts and concerns race through my head, my heart is pounding, my skin drenched in sweat. Will I get myself out of this mess or will the train disintegrate me. How bad is it going to hurt, or will it be as easy as flipping a switch. I so badly want a way out of my mess, wanting to be secure with my family. How did I get where I am, I made a poor decision to walk down these tracks. When I walked into this tunnel, I never imagined the situation that I am in. Wanting this to be a dream, when I awaken it be nothing more than a dream.

I feel alone and in despair.