Monday, August 24, 2009
A selfish act to take one's own life. Leaving those who love you, wondering, lost, confused and alone.
Twenty years of responding to medical calls, seventeen to fire calls, suicide is one that still confuses me. A few years back I was faced with three suicides in three shifts, all but one died. Two were fathers, one was single man, I remember walking away from the house after being approached by one son "What are you doing at my house?" My reply was simple "You need to go talk with your mom." I remember his face all of about 14 years old. Not knowing that his father would be pronounced dead later that day, heart still beating, brain dead from lack of oxygen.
Many times I wonder, in those last few moments, what they were thinking. One of partner's put it simply yesterday "revenge" Is it revenge to your family, the loved ones that huddle in grief, reeling from seeing your body, lying or hanging here? The person's that they are seeking revenge do have to live with it for the rest of their lives, however, that is only one person maybe two, what about the rest of the people that will be there if you were to call them. Stand by your side, hold you, comfort you, help you through this difficult time.
A few years back I attended a funeral for a fire fighter, he took his own life in the garage, hanging himself before dinner. Dinner arrived that evening, someone went to the garage to find him hanging. His comrades were dispatched, with their heart and souls they attempted to revive their friend and colleague. With no avail they were unable to restore his life. During the funeral I sensed the good that this man had done, a leader, a father, husband. He was distraught over the murder of his son, leaving the family without a father, my heart goes to his family, friends and colleagues.
Time and time again, no matter what the circumstance, people are left grieving the loss of a loved one. Children left with out a parent, a parent left with out a child. There is no revenge, there is family left empty and alone with loss of the one they love. Nothing is gained and everything is lost.