Suicide

A selfish act to take one's own life. Leaving those who love you, wondering, lost, confused and alone.

Twenty years of responding to medical calls, seventeen to fire calls, suicide is one that still confuses me. A few years back I was faced with three suicides in three shifts, all but one died. Two were fathers, one was single man, I remember walking away from the house after being approached by one son "What are you doing at my house?" My reply was simple "You need to go talk with your mom." I remember his face all of about 14 years old. Not knowing that his father would be pronounced dead later that day, heart still beating, brain dead from lack of oxygen.

Many times I wonder, in those last few moments, what they were thinking. One of partner's put it simply yesterday "revenge" Is it revenge to your family, the loved ones that huddle in grief, reeling from seeing your body, lying or hanging here? The person's that they are seeking revenge do have to live with it for the rest of their lives, however, that is only one person maybe two, what about the rest of the people that will be there if you were to call them. Stand by your side, hold you, comfort you, help you through this difficult time.

A few years back I attended a funeral for a fire fighter, he took his own life in the garage, hanging himself before dinner. Dinner arrived that evening, someone went to the garage to find him hanging. His comrades were dispatched, with their heart and souls they attempted to revive their friend and colleague. With no avail they were unable to restore his life. During the funeral I sensed the good that this man had done, a leader, a father, husband. He was distraught over the murder of his son, leaving the family without a father, my heart goes to his family, friends and colleagues.

Time and time again, no matter what the circumstance, people are left grieving the loss of a loved one. Children left with out a parent, a parent left with out a child. There is no revenge, there is family left empty and alone with loss of the one they love. Nothing is gained and everything is lost.

Destination Unknown

I just needed to clear my head, no real destination planned. I packed as much as I could fit on my Harley, three pairs of jeans, three shirts, 3 pair of boxers, all stuffed in my bags. A small two person tent, sleeping bag, all strapped to the seat. I was also able to find a spot for my small toilette bag, leaving me life’s minimum's for my time away.

As soon as I left suburbia, my wheels hit the open road, the rumble of the bike began to mesmerize me. Leaving my past behind me, watching it fade as I accelerated. I found myself searching for my soul, searching for my purpose in life, wondering who I had become. My bike was now my partner, helping find the person who I had become.

A few hours later I found myself pulling into a small town, small enough that the only businesses around were three bars and a convience store. Fortunately the gas pumps took credit, I filled my tank, pulled out my map, finding where I was, looking for my next path. I walked inside, the air was cool, and I suddenly felt the sweat on my back. I opened the cooler, grabbing a blue Gatorade, trying to refresh my electrolytes. I walked up to the counter pulling out my wallet, while the man rang up my purchase.

Leaving the store I noticed a nice oak tree adjacent to the property, so I fired up the bike and parked it near the tree. I took off my riding jacket, hanging it on the handle bars, sitting down and resting my back against the tree. I slowly drank my Gatorade, relaxing and enjoying the quietness. I checked my phone, no messages, so I placed it back into my pocket. About fifteen minutes passed and I began to gear up, climbing on my bike, I returned to the road.

Riding through the countryside was relaxing, enjoying the sights and smells while I rode. The only thing I could really hear was the faint music over my pipes rumbling that so familiar Harley tune. I felt as if I were part of the scenery, becoming one in itself. Riding through the hills and valley's, passing through small towns along the way. Stopping every so often to stretch my legs, hydrate, occasionally filling up the tank.

The day was nearing the end as I rolled into this small town of about 1,500 people, a small hotel sat on its edge, the vacancy sign still lit. I pulled the bike into the parking lot, there were about nine cars in the parking lot. The front was brick with black shutters, clean looking, a neon sign hanging over the center door “OFFICE ". As I walked into the office, it looked as if it were the woman's room with a counter. A bell rang over the door as I entered, a cute strawberry blonde woman stepped from her kitchen, smiling, wiping her hands, as she walked towards me.

Her voice had a southern drawl to it, eight hours from home and south, you begin to notice the little things. She was wearing a black tank top without a bra, her nipples poking through. Her smile was quirky, her lips raised more on the left side than right, and teeth were straight and white. She could tell I was tired from the road, immediately asking me "King or Queen?" "King" I said, thirty nine dollars, “You take Discover?" I asked. "Sure do, you must be a city boy!" She said.

I explained I was from the suburbs of Chicago, out to find myself again. "That's how I ended up here" she said. I took my key, thanking her, I exited, walking down the sidewalk to my room. The building was immaculate, not run down at all, I was quite surprised of its cleanliness. Old fashioned like with an actual key, I opened my door. A fairly recent update had been done to my room, newer beige carpet, large 32 inch TV. Not the standard 27 that you find in most budget hotels, fairly new furniture as well. The maroon bed spread was nicely made, wash cloths folded like shells on the bed.

I quickly undressed, turned on the shower and lay on the bed naked. I grabbed the remote and surfed for something good to watch, finally deciding on the weather channel, looking at the forecast for the next couple of days. Once a commercial came on I jumped into the shower. The water was cool, with a touch of warm, closing my eyes as it rained down on me. I just stood there for a few minutes, allowing my body time to relax. I soon lathered up, rinsing the sweat and dirt from my body, my skin felt refreshed.

Turning the shower off, I pulled the curtain open, the cold air felt good. Dripping wet I stepped out onto the bath mat, grabbed a towel, and wiped my face. The towel added warmth to my body, between my wet skin, the cold air conditioning, I was feeling chilled. Drying off my body, I walked over, pulled the bed spread back, again lying on the bed. My naked body enjoying the feel of the clean sheets against my clean body.

Tired from the road, refreshed from my shower, I quickly fell asleep. I was unsure how long I had slept when I awoke to the knocking on my door. I felt as if I had been asleep for a few moments, disoriented and confused I sat up on the edge of the bed. In reality I had slept for almost two hrs, the clock read 9:04pm. I stood realizing I was naked, grabbed my towel wrapping it around my waist, I went to the door. “I will be right there!" I hollered. With the door chained at the top, I opened it slightly, peeking through the crack.

There she stood, the cute lady from the office, holding a plate of food. "I noticed that you hadn't left Ric, I thought you might like some dinner." I reached up and unhooked the chain. I slowly opened the door, standing there in my towel, again I saw her quirky smile. Wondering if she treated all her quests this way. "Thanks, I appreciate the hospitality." "My Pleasure" she exclaimed, as she handed me the plate. I could see her looking, my cock was pressing against the towel, her nipples poking through her shirt.

Sheepishly standing in my door, I offered for her to join me. Explaining that she shouldn't as she stepped into my room. I set the plate down at the table, with only one chair, she sat on the edge of the bed. Meatloaf, potatoes and carrots, a good home cooked meal. We discussed how we both ended up in this small Kentucky town. As I finished my plate, she graciously stood up, picking up my plate.

As she went to leave, I thanked her for dinner. Stopping at the door, turning around, staring at me, afraid to say too much, she smiled again. I then took the plate from her hands, set on the table as I approached her. I could see her take a deep breath, anticipating my next move. I gently brushed the strawberry blonde hair from the corner of her mouth. Her eyes were closed now, my hand continued into her hair, touching her scalp, sending chills down her spine. Her nipples now erect, poking further out of her shirt.

I then touched my lips to hers, I felt her exhale in relief. Turning her around, I slowly walked her to my bed. My body pressed against hers, my lips pressed against hers. I could taste the lip gloss that she was wearing, sweet bubble gum, it made her lips shimmer. The smell of her washed hair,it smelled fruity, felt silky. Her arms remained by her side, submissive to my touch. My towel fell to the floor, now naked, she hardly noticed. She was consumed by my lips, my body, and the moment in which we shared.

My hands found the bottom of her shirt, lifting it over her head, our lips separated for only a moment. Her bare chest pressed against mine, I could feel her nipples pressing into me. Her nipples were rosy pink, surrounded by the white triangles created from her bikini. I always have found that very sexy. My lips left hers, pulling her hair aside. Kissing the nape of her neck, down to her shoulder, then to her breasts. Her hands still by her side, submissive, waiting for direction. My hands grabbed her ass, I heard her moan in pleasure. Walking my fingers around her waist, I began to unbutton her shorts, then unzipping them. Slowly I walked her shorts over her hips, dropping them to the floor.

She could feel my cock pressing against her now, she only stood 5'4. I was 6'1, finally her hands were on my sides. Our bodies touching, finding each others souls. We kissed and touched as long as we both could hold out, finally she sat on the edge of the bed, taking me into her mouth. Cupping my balls while stroking with the other, her mouth wrapped around me, sucking and teasing my cock. Looking up at me, hair on her cheek, amazing green eyes looking up at me. Stopping, she smiled, she pushed herself back onto the bed, spreading her legs wide. Touching herself, showing me her wetness, then taking her finger and sucking it clean.

I climbed onto the bed, lifting her legs onto my shoulders. Grabbing a pillow, placing it under hips, I slowly began to enter her, slowly sliding inside. I pressed slowly, she was soaking wet, I was very thick for her small frame. She moaned with pleasure, asking me to fuck her, I went slowly, while she begged for more. I could see the urgency of her willingness to cum, teasing her with my cock, I made her wait. Her urgency turned into desperation, she reached down with her hand, trying to masturbate herself. I grabbed her wrists, placing them above her head. My thrusts became harder and deeper, her legs now wrapped around my waist. Her breasts moving with her body, everything in motion, suddenly without warning. She began screaming with pleasure, and then her quirky smile was seen again.

I leaned over and gently kissed her on the lips, my cock resting inside of her. I could feel my pulse in my cock, it wanted to unleash it fury deep inside. She then pushed me off, rolling me onto my back, kissing me, then my nipple. Looking at me with those green eyes she slowly worked her way down my abs. Without warning she took me back into her mouth. Savoring her own juices, she giggled as my cock grew more, it excites a man when a woman is willing to suck her own juices.

Her eyes were now dancing with excitement as she climbed on, one leg raised, lowering herself down. She gasped from the fullness as it touched her favorite spots. Both knees on the bed, she began moving her hips slowly. Working my cock into the right places, rubbing her clit on my pubic hair. One hand in her hair, the other holding a breast. As her rhythm increased she lowered her hands down to my chest, looking for balance. I placed my hands on her hips to help her move, pushing and pulling, increasing the rhythm. Her facial expressions let me know she was nearing an orgasm. Using my strength, I forcibly increased our rhythm more, feeling her pussy clamp down on my cock, quivering around it, causing me to release a strong, long lasting orgasm.

Collapsing onto my chest, she just lie there, both catching our breath. Still inside of her, I could feel her insides still quivering, causing my cock to quiver as well. Rolling over on our sides, staring into each others eyes, kissing, holding. Content from the lust that we both had shared. Slowly she began to get up, visiting the bathroom, then grabbing her clothes. I watched her get dressed, enjoying her being, her quirky smile, a smile that I will remember for a lifetime.

Thursday Thirteen~ Spy Camera's

In light of the recent Erin Andrews video I began to think about spy cameras. How a simple camera can change your life. I began researching spy camera's and was amazed at how small and how simple they have become. Many have transmitters so that you stream it to a computer nearby. It is kind of scary when you see some of the examples of camera's that I found. The cost of some of the camera's is below $100, however, where there is a will there is a way. So next time your in a hotel room, remember, you never know who's watching.

1. Watch Camera-So when your at dinner and a man is keeping his watch under the table, maybe he is trying to get a glimpse of under your dress.

2. Electric Razor- Next time your masturbating in the shower, you could being filmed.

3. Necktie- Have you ever wondered why that guy keeps hanging around you or if your sleeping with someone at work, maybe your being filmed. Yikes :)

4. Phone Camera- Everyone has a camera on there phone these days, however, this is a little cam that can transmit to a phone. Looks peephole size to me!
5. Pen Camera- Again that guy you keep flirting with and he keeps trying to sneak you into his office. Smile your on camera!

6. Outlet cover- Now this one scares the shit out of me, holy cow batman! How many times have you been in a hotel that has one of these by the desk that sits across from the bed.

7. Flouresent Light- Remember at work or in bathrooms, anyone can be watching us!

8. Small Camera- This is a camera all by itself, you can see how tiny it is, just imagine where you could put this thing.
9. Hairdryer- Now think about that hotel...lol...acutally reading about this it retails for about $520. If the person is a serious voyeur they can make that money back in a hurry. The purpose of this hairdryer is to assist salons in catching their thieves.

10. Small wonder- This camera is also small, it can fit into a pack of gum or look like a natural gaget that should be sitting on the counter.

11. Alarm Clock- Again who knows what hotel has these lying around. Let alone your spouse if they suspect you doing something that you shouldn't be doing.

12. Cigarettes- Smoke them if you got them, but not this pack, it will smoke your ass if your caught!13. Fire Alarm- As you probably guessed this is my absoulte favorite, they also have smoke detectors. Maybe this is why we get so many fire alarms...;)
Seriously they make these things in so many different objects, its absoultely scary. In today's world we never quite know if we are alone or if someone is watching. Happy Thursday Thirteen For more Thursday 13 CLICK HERE

Wordless Wednesday

I know that this is supposed to be Wordless, however, I must thank the reader that submitted this picture for today's posting. xoxox~Ric

~I am always accepting photo's to randomly and anonymously post. So if you wish, feel free to email your sexy photo. No faces please!~

For more Wordless CLICK HERE

Dinner with friends!!

It was a busy weekend as usual and we had dinner plans with a group of friends. I had worked the previous day and we were up most of the night. Tired and out of sorts, kind of in a funk, I really didn't want the evening drama. I really just wanted to sit at home with a drink, relax and fall asleep. I would have much rather had everyone over for a bonfire, drinking, falling asleep to every one's laughter.

Fortunately another couple decided to go early, knowing Olive Garden is busy, reserving a table for seven. With my unwillingness, we were the last ones to arrive, everyone was standing outside, still waiting to be seated. I was really happy that we hadn't left earlier, parking the car, my wife reminded me to smile. Leaning over the arm rest, kissing me, stroking my cheek, smiling, knowing that I was tired.

As we met everyone, smiles and hugs, we were all happy to see each other again. Although I felt the way I did, our group of friends are always a fun group of people. I especially enjoyed it when Kerri joined our group, her eyes danced and smile so inviting. She was the only single one, always flirtatious, always fun. Her presence made the outing a bit more tolerable. I always had a thing for her, my wife knew that as well,however, I was not female, so she was not a threat.

Finally we were seated and all talking, many ordered drinks. Everyone was catching up and the evening was flowing very well. I was fortunate to be seated between my wife and Kerri, still feeling out of it, I was a bit quieter than usual. Kerri elbowed me, asking if I were alright, I explained that I had a very long night before and was tired. Empathic her hand patted my knee, as she did so, I felt my balls tingle. A bit of arousal surged through my body, even if it were a friendly touch.

As the evening progressed, I did join into the conversation, finding Kerri and I having more of a one on one conversation. She was explaining to me that her girlfriend and her had recently broken off their relationship. I was surprised to hear that, I vaguely knew her, although I knew she existed. She never would join our outings, partially because we weren't part of the gay community. Our group being very open and diverse, accepted anyone wishing to join us.

Dinner being served, the conversation continued at a much slower pace. I ate about half of my meal and stuffed, feeling more tired with food in my stomach. I wiped my lips, placing my napkin back into my lap. My wife asking if I was OK, I reassured her that everything was fine, I was full. Giving me that look, knowing that I usually finish mine and hers, "really I am OK" I said with a smile. I then reached down touching her knee. Her soft skin was so inviting. I ran my hand up her leg, that was until she smacked my hand, "see I am OK" I said with a smile. Again I got that look, this time with a smile in return.

I noticed Kerri had finished her meal as well, again we began to talk, I was drawn to her more than usual this evening. Her cute little sun dress, sexy tan, the way her hair lie on her shoulder. I kept imagining her and my wife, knowing all to well that wouldn't happen, however I kept imagining. I also noticed her perfume, almost like what you smell on a stripper, this also didn't help matters in my opinion. I really felt as if tonight, I was going to get myself into trouble.

Conversation at the table then became very centered on Jim and Tracy, they announced that they were pregnant. Everyone was concentrated on them, bombarding them with all of those who?what?when? Followed by my "did you enjoy it" again I was hit by my wife, as everyone laughed. With everyone focused on them, Kerri reached down and placed her hand on my knee, I looked around the table, no one was looking. I looked at her and she smiled, now running circles with her fingers, I could feel my balls begin to tingle again.

I honestly did not know what to do, finally I reached under the table and placed my hand on her knee. Her skin much different than my wife's, I could tell that she used lotion much more frequently, silky to the touch. I felt her legs spread,allowing space for me to run my hand, reluctant I kept my hand on her knee. Then without notice, she graciously placed her hand on mine. Again, little circles with the tips of her fingers on the back of my hand, then she held my hand. I looked at her, a devious smile with the raise of her eyebrow.

My hand now on her leg, I suddenly felt my wife's hand on my knee, again small circles with finger tips, my cock surged to full thickness at this point. Kerri could tell that something was going on, looking over she saw my wife's hand under the table cloth as well. Upping the stakes, with her hand, Kerri began guiding my hand under her dress. Her skin was so soft, my hand now at mid thigh she stopped, I continued, never stopping me, continuously looking to see if anyone was watching. Everyone still focused on Jim and Tracy, no one aware of what I was doing.

My hand finally reached the point where her leg met her waist, I stopped, afraid that I may offend her, not to mention nervous as hell. I looked at her, she looking at me, waiting to see what I was going to do, she seemed as if she wanted me to touch her. I sat there, now running my fingers in circles on the inside of her thigh, wanting to feel her pussy, then her hand was on mine again, pushing me closer. She widened her legs a bit more, her leg pressing against mine, my hand then touched her lips. She was soaked, her pussy was literally dripping wet, I felt her hand leave mine, touching her own clit, I was extremely aroused at this point. Wanting so bad to fuck the shit out of her, then she pushed my finger to her clit, I could feel her body react to my touch.

At the same time I felt my wife run her hand to my crotch, I needed a distraction. This was getting out of control, looking for a way to stop this madness, I saw my wife's glass of water empty with ice, quickly reaching for it, I knocked it over. My wife moving her hand, reaching for the spilled glass. Trying to help, I went to move my other hand, Kerri grasped it firmly, keeping it right where she wanted it. Then with a smile, she let go, knowing that she didn't want to get caught either. She then excused herself to the washroom.

"That's a good idea, I will walk with you" excusing myself, I followed her. When we reached the restrooms, we smiled and laughed. She then admitted that she did not want to come to dinner tonight as well and how glad she was that she did. I too told her that this made my night much more enjoyable than I expected. I entered the washroom, tasting my fingers before I washed, she tasted sweet and fresh. I enjoyed her taste, wishing I could enjoy a meal instead of appetizer.

As I exited the washroom, she was waiting for me, hugging me, kissing me on the cheek, whispering her wishes into my ear. I whispered back that I would enjoy making her wishes come true. Smiling we both returned to the table to enjoy our dinner with friends.

A day of living the dream!

Yesterday at work was one of those days, one of those days that just wouldn't end fast enough. We begin our shifts at 7am and work till 7am the next morning. Looking at the department calendar we were scheduled for several public appearances. The sun was out and we were looking forward to meeting lots of good looking moms out with there kids.

The first hour of work is filled with checking our equipment, putting our gear in our respectable spots. Being in charge mine stuff goes into the right front seat, I run the computer, talk on the radio, responsible for my crew. I am also responsible for my station, ambulance and engine, all paramedic equipped. Soon after checking our equipment, everyone scurries to finish there chores. Just like home, bathrooms, floors, vacuuming all needs to be done, then back out to wash the engine and ambulance.

We ordered out breakfast from a local restaurant, soon to be off to our first assignment. It was 1030hrs and we were off to a local health club for their open house. We took 300 helmets for kids, slap bracelets, refrigerator magnets and other handouts. As we pulled in we were in shock, the crowd was over 500 and waiting, I guess that's what happens when they say free lunch, bags, handouts. Let alone the car seat safety check that they offered. People were everywhere, we actually had to turn on our emergency lights to get to our assigned spot. The even wasn't going to start until 1100hrs.

Of course we parked by the cops, we get along well with them. Smiling and joking, I am sure people didn't know what to think. All day long I was making comments about the one cop, how he started off in the back and graduated to the front of the squad car. He was posing for a picture with a child and told the kid " When you grow up, you don't want to be like him!" I expect that I will be pulled over soon. It was all in good fun.

We left for a medical call and the cops had to watch our handouts, people just began to help themselves. So it actually was put into protective custody. After our call we returned, meeting and greeting the public. I am a public education person for the department,however,days like these can start to wear on your nerves. Suddenly, I hear "Ric, Ric, Ric" I was like is that someone chanting my name, I know I have fans out there but really here in public. I look over and they are frantic, a baby was choking. Walking so not create a scene, people became more frantic, a nurse from the facility was a bit pushy and snubbed me a bit. Someone even said let the paramedics do their job! All was good and I went back to my post.

As the three hour event carried on we were bombarded handing out all of the supplies that we had brought. Some things that we noticed though were people coming back for more freebies, people we recognize you, you were already here. Not to make a scene we smile and give them seconds and thirds of our supplies. This happens all the time at events like this and it always amazes me.

What also amazes me are the questions. What was your worst fire? Do you really want to know, honestly, you want to hear about the five year old that we found and how the mom screamed! What is the grossest thing you have seen? Really you don't want to know. You guys have to respond to emergencies from this event? Yes we are on duty, providing a service, of course we still respond to people in need. The questions we field are really something else. Please don't ever ask whats the worst of anything from cops, firemen, nurses....imagine the worst and there you have it! My eyes have seen more death, diarrhea, vomit, blood, domestic violence, and the list goes on, than the normal person ever wants to see.

Finally at 1430hrs we leave, heading for one of our fire fighter's wedding. A bit exhausted from standing and being bombarded we head to the church. Ambulance, Ladder truck, fire engine all staged outside the doors. When the groom and his new bride exit the church our lights were flashing, followed by blasting of our horns. The bridal party then had their pictures taken on the ladder truck. Since this wasn't the equipment that the groom was assigned too, I made a comment during pictures "Shouldn't you be on a ambulance for this picture?" I really don't hold back, those of you that know me, I have no filter. Everyone was thinking it, I just have the balls to say it.

Our next stop was to Walmart, this is when I began to lose my tolerance for stupid people for the day. We are now required to keep a firefighter with the rig at all times. I volunteered because I thought both guys were about to pee their pants. Using the facilities, then shopping for dinner and grabbing some food for lunch. While they were inside, I fell asleep in the engine, to be awaken by an older lady. "Sir are you waiting for a fire?" I was like no maam...we are grocery shopping. " You must going to buy a lot of groceries to fill that truck!" I was actually speechless. I said" Excuse me, for three guys?" She muttered something and walked away. Not to be cynical here, but do people think that we don't eat? I was feeling frustrated from stupid people that I had dealt with all day, the guys were laughing at me. I am the department spokesperson per say, the loved seeing me all wound up with the stupid questions.

Soon after that we headed back to the station to sit down and have a quick bite to eat. We get back, hoping to rest for an hr before our next assignment, we respond to another medical. Not taking to much of our time we were able to come back and sit for a half hour. Followed by getting back into the rig to meet a convoy for a soldier returning from his tour in Iraq. His father being a Sergent from one of the police departments that we work with, a honor that everyone of our soldiers deserve. Don't ever forget to thank those who serve so that we can live in this fine nation.

Now 1830 we are back at the station, my engineer, makes us this fabulous pesto and beef tenderloin dinner served on tortellini. After clean up many of us passed out until our next call. The rest of the evening was filled with calls, medicals, burnt food at midnight, car accident at 0430, another medical at 0530. Finally at 7am I was relieved to be walking out the door. I really enjoyed the busy day I did, I enjoy meeting and talking with people. I love my job, it is the best job in the world. It truly is living the dream!

The Hidden Camera

I had hidden cameras placed throughout the house, three in our bedroom, all discreetly placed. One was in the alarm clock that I replaced, another near the television and the third was in the smoke detector. I also had one placed in our bathroom, a lovely picture upon the wall.

I had always wondered what went on at home while I was away, always wondering how honest she was about her activities. Mostly I was interested in watching her masturbate, how she did it, her technique. Was she reading a book, playing online, watching a movie, these things interested me, consumed me. I was very into watching her, so much that after I began watching, I began recording, then watching them while I was away.

When I began researching these cameras, I was amazed at how small and hidden they could be, I was also amazed at how easily I could obtain them. The tricky part was finding a place to hook up my recording equipment. That too became easy, I decided to install cabinets into our master closet. Creating a secret spot for them to be hidden.

I had noticed that she spent a large amount of time on the computer prior to many masturbation episodes. Curious to her internet habits, I began feverishly searching for potential partners. She was very careful though, always erasing her history, I was never able to find evidence, and however, I knew it was there. My obsession with her became very compulsive, I was becoming paranoid beyond belief. Our sex life was now taking a toll, I couldn’t tell if it were me or if it were her.

I remember coming home, kissing her goodbye, business as usual around our home. Barely having time for each other, our marriage seemed as if we were single parents, forced to live together. Both of us always going in the opposite direction, forgetting to make time for each other, everything were always for the kids. Our sex lives consisted of me watching video of her orgasm’s while I jerked off. She was toying herself while chatting with some stranger on the screen of her computer.

It was that day however, that everything changed, and the cameras were witness to all of my fears. As I watched she was scantly dressed that evening, the kids were in bed early. She lies in bed, touching her breasts, teasing them, reading her book. She answered the telephone, it was me, I could see the annoyed look on her face. Looks of displeasure, the look that one has when they wish they could just hang up the phone. Like their worst enemy was on the other end, they were simply being nice.

Then the crooked little smile began to appear, the smile that I once knew from a long time ago. That sparkle in her eye, I was trying to remember our conversation, what had I said the sparked her interest again. My mind was swirling, grasping for that spark that I missed so dearly. Biting my lip, watching intently, watching her eyes dance, her finger touched her lip as if she was telling me to be quiet. Still trying to remember our conversation, I then saw him walk into the picture. It was not long after that when she told me goodnight, telling me she was tired, hanging up the phone.

My heart now racing, pounding in my chest, from excitement to fear, wishing I could rewind what I was now watching. I never had considered this possibility when this all began. What is going on, the room was spinning out of control, my mind racing. Anxiety was building, sweat now beading, my hands trembling, I could not stop watching. Tears now flowing from my eyes, my life shattered, wondering what my life had now become.

Meanwhile on the screen he undresses, climbing into my bed, his cock on her leg. His mouth touching hers, hands on her breasts, she succumbs to his touch. Her breasts now exposed, her back arching, his tongue dances around her nipples. My heart feels as it is being ripped from my chest as I watch. I stared in disbelief, wondering who he is, where did I go wrong.

She then reaches for his cock, stroking it, he lies back onto my pillow. She rises up, kissing his chest, down his belly, taking his cock completely into her mouth. His hand touches her pussy as she continues to eagerly take him in, stroking and sucking. I began to turn away, then turning back to watch, I really had seen enough. My body and mind numb from the shock of what I had just witnessed, I sat there, watching the whole video till the end.

Watching him lie there with her, the way we once had been, she was now his, I was merely a single parent, who spent time with my kids.